Every little things

Last night while brushing Adriana's teeth, I noticed that she pulled her tongue out, this is a rare occasion and it got me thinking all the little things that she did not do as a baby. As a baby, she doesn't like doing the babbling thing, you know with her mouth, she did not pulled her tongue out like most baby do. She did not blew resbarries when she was a baby. All the things that baby supposed and love to do. At that time, I thought all of them are normal, little that I knew that all of that are important to the growth of my baby. All of these activities are important excercise for her motor skills, which then lead to her speaking ability.

How can I missed the important things in her life? Maybe because I'm being a very typical mother, not extra-ordinary mother. I assume that everything is fine with Adriana, and people keep telling me that each baby develop in their own time, so no need to worry. Sometimes I wish that I was a worrier, then I will be able to do more even when the doctor told me not to worry, she will be fine. I will insisted on them checking her, poking her but then agian do I really want her to went thur all that? I cried when she was in ICU and when the doctors did all the test to her. I tried very hard not to cry when she went thru her MRI, but I bled in my heart seeing her went thru that. She is my angel, and she is special and I accept that but sometimes I wish that I can do more for her. I wish that I can protect her all the times.

It hurts when other kids who are younger than her can do more, it's hurt when the proud parents kinnda of showing off their kids' talents and I have to being a great sport and participate in that while my angel who is 21/2 years cannot even point out her body parts let alone call me Mama. It hurts so bad, and that make me missed all the little things that she supposed to be able to do, like salam you, hi-5 you, waving goodbye, stucking put her tongue at you, blew resberries at you, all those things.

But she is a survivor and her determination was strong. Lately she teach herself how to get down from the stairs standing up as opposite of crawl down the stairs. As she managed to do that, and we are all so proud of her. She is my angle and I love her so much.