As Good As It Gets

Find money somewhere else...

2012-01-20T03:26:00.000-08:00

I'm stuck in a stand still traffic in KL...it's Friday evening and i'm on my way to may class..yes, people for the past 12 months, i've been attending this course. I'm taking a Diploma in Learning Disorder Mgmt & Child psychology. The class starts at 7pm, and here i am still inside the car next to Dang Wangi LRT station, it's 7.30pm. What get to me was for the whole week the weather was hot, i meant Hotwith capital H...and Friday evening it thunderstorm in KL....why?why?why?. Very the mencabar one to go to class like this...and my exam is in 2 weeks time.
It's a good thing that i have my ipad with me...yes, ppl i have an ipad..it's only ipad one but i got one..a present from Amli..he got it free from Prudential for meeting his target for last year. A first he promised me an ipad 2 but he changed his mind after seeing the two..so here i am with the 1.. Better tahn nine right???
I have made up my mind..this year will be the final year I'm calling my self a white collar slave..after my final exam, my dream of becoming a stay at home mom will soon come true. Finally i have the courage to say this out loud and once you said it, you will do it. I had enough at work..things has gone from bad to worse and like Harrison Ford said in 'Regarding Harry', i had enough so i i said when. This is what happen to me and an advice from my ex boss- if u are not happy get out..u can find money elsewhere..which is kind of true..
Things are really bad this year..i guess i have no passion in my work anymore..my passion now is with my kids and my dream of opening a centre for special needs kids that intregated with normal kids. I'm hoping that this will materialised soon.
Amli is ok with me quitting my job, the big challenge is how to tell this to my parents??? Will they be dissapointed with me?? I really hope that they understand that this is not what i what to do with the rest of my life. The thing with my parents is that they are conservative..yo them ur happiness is secondary, what important is u are working..maybe i will tell them that i'll find money somewhere else....

Dusty...

2012-01-14T00:16:00.000-08:00

My God..this blog is so dusty...

I left it out far too long. So many things has happened since the last time I visited this page. However, some things are unchanged. I'm still with the same company-different department tho. Had another baby..and this time it's a boy. So, now I have 3 girls and 2 boys.

I guess we can blame FB for the neglection of this blog. It's easier with FB when you can juat update ur status and will get immediate respond. Met some of my old friends even my ex via FB ;) and Amli is ok with this..well, he was not at first. He was quiet pissed off that my ex and I are friends in FB. Had a few unpleasant 'conversation' with him regarding this. But funny thing happened after that. Amli was still new with FB and he often asked me about FB. One day, he called me and said he had this friend request and he is not sure who she was. Somehow my gut told me that it was his xe..told him but he said no. I asked him to PM this person and asked her who is she, and true enough she was his EX..kah!kah!kah!..padan muka..marah kat I then his ex contacted him..he asked me what to do. Told him that it was Ok with me if he wants to be friends with her..heh..he married me right, buat apa lah nak jeles sgt unless Amli is Orlondo Bloom than that is a different story..;)

Life has been treating us good..we had few downs in fact there were times that things were so down that we find ourselves on the bottom of the rock..but we managed to pull everything up..now we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I found out when things are bad, the most important thing is you must trust and rely on each others. Never..never..never turn to somebody else..this might lead to another problem.

Then again, maybe for us is different because our problem was not entirely on our fault. It was someone else's fault. But now that's all in the past..I have forgive that person BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HE DID TO OUR FAMILY!!! NEVER!!!

I'm now in the middle of my diploma..finally had the courage to take up part time class. I'm taking Diploma in Learning Management & Child Psychology. My aim for taking this is to have knowledge that can help Adriana. She has started school at Wangsa MAju Seksyen 2, in special class. Things are alhamdullilah...and hopefully I will have the time and the urge to update this blog... ;)

Updates

2009-05-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

I'm at home now...in fact I have been at home from early April due to the complication that I'm having with my 4th pregnancy. Yeap...for those who is still not aware, I am pregnant. I'm in 32 weeks now.

I know long time ago I did write about not having another kid after Adriana but deep deep down in my heart, I know I wanted another baby. This baby took us by surprised, in fact all my pregnancies took me by surprised. The only planned baby is Azrai, we planned Azrai right to his sex. We wanted a boy so we make sure that we get a boy-and how spoilt he is now.

After talking to lots of people including doctors, we found out having a younger sibling can actually help Adriana. So, here I am 32 weeks and counting.

Being pregnant and this age and having to look after 3 kids is no joke. I had the worst morning sickness ever. I could not wake up from the bed for the first 3 months and from April onwards been having a few bleeding episodes did not help either.

So, after so many trips to the hospital in a week, my gynae finally decided that enough is enough. I need complete rest and told me that I must rest at home i.e no office from my 28th weeks till when the baby decided to pop out. So, here I am at home. I felt so bad, that I decided to offer working from home and the office is all for it. So, they gave me a lap top and I can do my work form home. Althought, there are few things that required me to go to the office and going there once a while is a good things as I have a chance to have an adult conversation instead of virtual conversation via FB :)

oh, yes, we found out that this baby is a girl. We are not fussy about the sex but pity Azrai- he was so disspointed, he cried when we told him that it's going to be a baby girl. He was so excited when he found out that I'm pregnant as he wanted a baby boy to play with. He even came out with boys name and BEN being the hightest in the list.

Another funny thing is that I found out that we have no baby stuff left!! We gave all our baby stuff away once Adriana turned 3. Now, we have to buy everything!!! It's like this is our first baby. Semua baru.....so pening and so typical of us, we left thing last minute, and now I can't go out as often as I wanted to becuse I will be so tired the next day. we still have lots of things to buy and baby is coming soon. So many things so little time.....

Mother's dilemma

2009-01-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

I'm in dilemma. Adriana is 5 years old and by right she should be in pre-school. The thing is we have problem looking for the right school for her. She is a slow learners and she can't talk yet which make it difficult for any school to accept her.

We have been looking for a suitable school for her since last year. There are very few special school near our place and even if we found one, Adriana must have someone with her since she is not potty trained. This put another dilemma on us-who shoud go with her? Another thing is that she is not a severe case, if you look at her she seems like normal kids but her mental and physical does not look like she is 5, she is more like 3 years old kid. We have been adviced by her physicians, and her therapies that it is better for us to send her to normal pre-school so that she will learn from her normal peers rather than sending her to special school where the rest of the students might be worse than her and she will not improve.

I'm quite agreed with them, even now Adriana goes to normal nursery and we can see her improvement, but normal school would not accept her. Their reason is that they do not have facilities to deal with special kids.

So, where this put us?? We have been asking special organisation like NASOM and places that deal with down syndrome kids but they refused to take her in for the same reason as normal school, they do not have facilities for kids like her. She is a slow learners and she needs different approach from autism and down syndrome kids.

The best solutions that these places came up with is one of us stay at home and sort of home school her. Easier said than done. There are several reasons on why this is not the best solution for us, the first and foremost is at this point of time we could not afford to lose one of our income. Living in KL, it is essential for both parents to work just to get by. However, Amli is working on making this possible by working his ass off and I'm happy to let go of my job-even now I can't wait for him to say "ok, you can quit your job".

Another reason is that Adriana would not respond to us since she knows that she can manipulates us. She only listened to you for about 5 minutes and then off she goes-playing. She hated it when you gave instruction to her asking her to do something, but she will do it on her own. That is why it is very challenging for her therapies evertime she has session with them. She refused to do things that they asked her to do but leave her alone and about 5 minutes after that she will do it but not when you are hoovering behind her. So, we end up have to buy things that they used in her therapy sessions and leave it to her and she will do it on her own when she feels like it.

Having special kid is very challenging for us especially when you are working full time and you do not have enough time with her. I tried my best to spent quality time with her and tried to teach her thing or two. I have been teaching her ABC, only that 3 alphabets and now if you show her A, she will said A. That took me almost a month but it was worth it. My main concern right now is her education, and where to send her. I want her to have the same opportunities as my other children but this is a challenge for us, and I pray to Allah that one day I will find a way to provide the very best for her. Insya-Allah.

Tag

2009-01-09T05:54:00.000-08:00

Hihhihhih...I have been tagged by Yatie. I'm a bit slow when it comes to all these things but just for the fun of it, buatlah jugak.

Oh, before that Happy New Year everybody. I'm still enjoying my leave-being the domestic goddess,practising nanti bila dah berhenti kerja kan? It is a good rest as lately I noticed that i get tired easily. Went and saw Dr Marlik last tuesday and he said that it is normal when you are in the mid 30s and pregnant.

Ok-here goes with the tag-16 things you may or you may not know about me.

1. I'm the middle child. I have elder brother, elder sister, younger sister and younger brother. How middle can you get? So, when people are so going gaga over abang/kakak angkat or adik angkat masa sekolah-sekolah dulu, I was like huh??

2. When reading books and if I came across words or names that I can't prounced I just skip them altogether.

3. I have a special child-Adriana. She is a slow learners and I'm worried about her constantly, but at the same time i love her unconditionally.

4. I can't and do not know how to work when I first got married. Amli had problem eating the dinner that I cooked for him but I'm improving now. One can only take certain number of criticism so I'm learning how to cook from my mother in law and of course from Amli himself.

5. I have this thing about guys with funny ear,curly hairs and fair complextion.

6. I still listen to NKOTB- I think they are the ultimate band boys ever existed.

7. I'm very the sentimental person, I cried when watching movies, looking at sad photos. That is why I never watch 'Bersamamu' and of course iklan petronas every raya.

8. I can't eat spicy food-even my chinese colleague at work can eat more spicy food than me.

9. I'm still act like kids especially when I'm with my kids and I think that is my secret of looking young all the time(perasan mode is on). I love to tease my kids and play with them.

10. I love my kids so very much till the point that I think I spoil them. I spent my bonus this year on them. Tasya has new phone and both Tasya & Azrai has gameboy and lots of new toys. But at the same time they will get it from me if they misbehaved.

11. I love Akademi Fantasia and looking forward for the new season this year.

12. I love spending time with my family so much, not only my immediate family but with all my uncles and aunties too. And this is why I love throwing b'day parties for my kids as I will be seeing my family at the same time and gossip with them.

13. I don't like outdoor activities, my ideal holiday is staying inside hotel room and order room service but I love shopping.

14. I love sleeping and must have afternoon nap when I'm not working-even my kids know that when Mama is asleep it is better not not to disturb her at all. Azrai would rather cry silently when he is hurt than wake me up-how cool is that?

15. I wish that I have Chandler Bing's funny bones.

16. I'm amazed that I can actully write 16 things about me.

So, nak tag siapa? Ok lah since I only know 1 person who is a regular blogger, so I tagged her.

i. Jenn

Selamat Hari Raya

2008-10-03T07:01:00.000-07:00

Selamat Hari Raya....we celebrated raya in Alor Setar this year. We arrived here on Monday morning and will be here until next Tuesday.

At the moment, we are enjoying our holidays, and too lazy and too tired to update this blog. so, enjoy the photos that I took for our raya :)

Ayah with the kids

Mama with the kids

My beautiful kids

Nyang & the kids

Kids with mak tok & tok ayah

Adriana

Tasya

Abang & Ayah

The whole family-Nyang, Tok Ayah, Mak Tok & Us on Raya morning

Living on a prayer

2008-09-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time not so long ago:
Tommy used to work on the docks
union's been on strike

He's down on his luck - It's tough
so tough.
Gina works the diner all day
working for her man

She brings home her pay for love
for love.

She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
We'll give it a shot.

We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

Take my hand and we'll make it
I swear - livin' on a prayer.

Tommy got his six string in hock.
Now he's holding in what he used to make it talk -
So tough
it's tough.
Gina dreams of running away
when she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby
it's okay
someday.

We've got to hold on to what we've got . . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
. . .

We've got to hold on ready or not

You live for the fight when it's all that you've got.

We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
. . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
. . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
. . .

That song is like a theme song to me and a friend of mine. I have this friend that I met sometime ago, we were so much alike, we even have similar name. Let call her I. We were so alike that some people mistook us for a twin. We have the same laugh and we like the same thing. The funny part is our lives almost identical to each other. We got married almost the same time, she is married to her Uni sweetheart although according to her, he is not her soul mate-her soul mate dumped her after 2 months of going out(see I told you we have the same story!!) She is still carzy about her ex(which i cannot understand why-he is not a good looking guy at all) but then beauty is in the eye of the be holder, right? We have 3 kids, girl, boy and girl. Her son is a ADHD, so we relate so much on each other.

My relationship with I is special, we hardly met after that short time that we were thrown togtehr by our sponsor, but we kept in touch electronically-we emailed each other on daily basis and she is the only friend that I do not want to share with anybody not even Amli- I guess I kindda need someone that I can be honest with and can give me a very open opinion when it come to my relationship as she does not know amli and can be on my side all the time :)

And, why living on the prayer is our theme song, let me tell you why. Last year about the same time that Amli decided to be full time insurance agent, I's husband also decided to open his own business. I was not very thrilled, but at the same time, she does not want to become the typical wife that would not support the husband. She emailed me and voiced out her concern- I told her about Amli and she asked me about it? Was I happy with Amli's decision, and what is my reaction to that. I told her that I'm ok with it because Amli was not happy with his previous job and it drove us crazy because he was forever in a bad mood.

With her, it was a different reason, he husband wanted to give the best to the famliy and he was sick of being 'just enough'-he wanted more and he wanted to be rich-which is a noble intention but the way to get there is not bed of roses.

Now, they are having a hard time-which I can totally understand. She contacted me last week and she was in tears- she told me that they only have RM5.00 between them and it is another 2 weeks before her salary. Apparently for the past 1 year they were leaving on her pay cheque and she just had enough of that. According to her, things were really bad after the election, no job for her husband and no job means no money.

She said that at the moment she is considering asking for a divorce. To say that i was surprised was so underestimated. I totally get her at that time. Marriage is a very hard work and it makes it harder when money is not there. and who ever says that money is not important is in denial.

I asked her have she think about it and she told me that she is having the same thought for the past 6 months, the only thing that stopped her form going thru with the idea is 6 pairs of eyes. She said it's tough bring kids in her current situation but it will be harder if they were divorce.

I asked her have she talk about her feeling with her husband, and she said NO. Her husband is a very typical Malay perasan macho guy(her words not mine). He is so proud that he just refused to listen to her. He still have this belief that 1 day he will make it and he will give all to her. which is good at times but sometimes she wish that he concentrate more on today than tomorrow and he kept singing Living on a prayer to her-'it doesn't matter if we make it or not-we got each other and that's a lot for love'-and when that happens she felt like screaming to him that love cannot buy baby formula, love cannot buy baju raya for the kids and love cannot buy petrol for the car!!!!

Like I said earlier, her story is so like mine-we had our hard share in life too, but the only different bewteen hers and mine is that, amli and I talk. When I was sad I let him know-he knows when I was really down and likewise. we have each other to back us up.

We are also living on a prayer but we always belief that we are half way there and one day we will make it thru and I, i believe that you too are almost there and one day we are going to look back at this day and laugh our hearts out.

Hang in there baby, and you can always count on me.

Thirty Three

2008-07-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

That is my number for today, not only today but for the whole year. I'm 33!! I'M 33!!!! OUCH, 33!!!!!!

That's a lot of numbers, when I was a little girl I would think that by the time I reached this age-I have everything in the world-but in reality, I'm not even half way there but I'm on it, and enjoying every minute of the journey.

My darling Amli gave me this for my birthday, he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told him that I wanted a diamond necklace but he pretended that he was deaf for a moment!!!

Finally we settled for this. It was nice and I like it. My mom gave me this

Dengan erti kata yang lain-rajin-rajinlah masak for your family.

I'm still half way thru my special day and there are so many things that I wanted to do today, but I rather stay at home and be with my kids( the truth is that I do not have any energy to do something wild for my birthday)

Talking about energy, I went out with my friends last Friday for a farewel dinner to one of my closet colleagues, were planning to enjoy the night until wee hours and guess what time we went home?? 9.30pm!!! 9.30pm- we were bunch of old ladies!!!! Guess, age is cathcing up with me- if 10 years ago I could stay the whole night, now by 9.30pm I could not even open my eyes. But I'm happy and that is what important.

For this year, I wish that I will be healthy and happy until i have to pee in diapers!!

Where were they????

2008-06-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

I watched "the Holidays" last night and I fell in love with Jude Law. I know people has been talking about him for ages but I never found him interesting until "the holidays"- I fell in love with him 0r maybe not him but Graham. After last night, only then I realized why people fell head over heel for him-apart from his obvious good look, he has this sex appeal that ahhh me.

Orlondo Bloom-I have been in love with him since "Troy"-typical Paris(as in the illiad) and not Hilton-ok? so fine and broke so many hearts.

But the question that I wanted to ask is I was in UK for 5 years-I went to school there for 2 years but why I never met someone who is good looking like these 2 brits?? Why?? Where were they when I was looking for someone?? Main sorok-sorok ke?? When I was there, all the brits that I met was ok looking, some was so normal that I think Malaysian men are much better looking than them-that bad ok?? When I was in 6th Form in Berkhamsted- the boys in the Boys' School and in my Econ class are just boys-they are boys, they were only 16!!! They behaved like one too. And none of them are drop dead gorgeous_ well, may 1 or 2( I can't even remember their name-yatie do you remember their name-the good looking ones?)

Then when I was in Coventry for 3 years-zilch, zero, none. They were just not around when I was there. I even went to Kent for 3 separate occasion and did I met Orlondo there??? NO-i guess at that time he is still BELUM :)Or is it me?? I only attract normal looking guys?? was I that bad?? I was ok looking, my husband told me that I was cute( well, may be that's only to get me to went out with him, is it?) But then again, people have this saying that good looking ones will always attract not so good looking partners-and since both Jude and Orlondo are not with me, I wonder what that says about me :)

Pissed off with MPH Mid Valley

2008-06-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Sir/Madam

I would like to complaint about a bad service that me and my family received at your Mid Valley's outlet. We went to the store today (12th June) at about 2.45pm with the intention of buying books for my 3 kids. Once in the store, I, my 5 years old son and my 4 years old daughter went straight to the reading corner. My son took the sponge bob's bed time stories that have sound and my daughter took another book. We then stated opening the book to browse. Few minutes after that, one of your staff came to us and said that we are not allowed to read the book. At first I thought she said that we are not allowed to on the music from the sponge bob's book, but then she said that we are not allowed to open the book and read it. I was so angry, how could we as a customer were not allowed to read/see the book first before buying it. My daughter was crying when we had to put the book again. What puzzled me was there were another girl who was reading a novel and a mother and daughter who was also reading book. Why they can do it and not me and my kids??? The way that your staff treated us was like we wanted to tear the book apart. For your information my kids love reading and they know how to treat books.

I never felt humiliated before and I was so angry, I going to tell all my friends, my family, my husband's friends and family, my daughter's friends, my son's friends and I also going to write about this on my blog to tell them not to go to MPH Mid Valley because apparently they do not encourage customers to browse books before buying.

Thank you
Noriza Mohamed

This is the email that I wrote to MPH website. I was really pissed off with them yesterday. I was so mad that I stormed out form the store, thinking about it now-I should go and see the store manager and demand an explanation on why my kids are not allowed to read the books there while other people can. Is it because we did not looked like someone who can actually afford their RM19.90 books!!!! So, starting this morning-I have been campaining to all my colleagues not to go to MPH Mid Valley, and now I'm writing about it in my blog(as written in my letter to MPH, which they never bother to reply, yet)
So, my loyal readers( yeah-two of you) please support my cause and please do not buy any books or even step into MPH in Mid Valley, I'm ok with other branch especially in Alamanda, just not Mid Valley.

Ok, people promise me. Thank you

Step By Step

2008-04-12T04:16:00.000-07:00

Oh..baby, gonna get to you girl..
Those are the lyrics from New Kids On the Block-greatest hits,which I bought last week and i was happy with that. Amli was horrified that I forced him to buy that for me. He refused to even hold the CD.

I know that they are not the greatest band ever, but I like them. I don't care what people say about them and I know most of it was really bad but to me, their songs bring me back to the time where everything was so simple. I heard of them for the first time when I was 15 years old-and the first song was "Please Don't Go Girl". My sister went to CBN, and 1 day she bought back this cassette, and we listened to it and Boom...I fell in love with them. I then bought their 1st cassette "New Kids on the block" with big hits like "Didn't I blow your mind"(which is what I'm listening now), and I still like them now.

I know most people will never admitted that they even listen to them but I don't care. I'm proud to say that to me they are the best boy band ever!!! I grew up with NKOTB- they were there when I fell in love for the first time with "I'll be loving you forever", and with their "right stuff",I knew I met with the right guy(unfortunately he didn't think so!!)

I guess their songs reminded me of the time when I was 15 and life was great at that time. No matter what happened you always have food on the table and roof over your head. The only worries that you have was what to wear when we went out and will he call me tonight?? How trivia!!! Everytime I listened to them, I was transformed back to when I was 15 and it makes me feel good, the time when we discovered ourselves. I was al late bloomer-I only discovered boys like really discovered them when I was 15. Had first crush, broke someone's heart, cut school to watched Tommy Page( I know of all the people..Tommy Page...malu gille), and all these with New Kids with me. Listen to then now it's like listening to my old friends remembering our good old time together.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK.....I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends-old,new and forgotten

2008-02-24T20:30:00.000-08:00

Recently I joined facebook and found lots of old friends thru it. Most are from my Secondary School(Sains Muar). I went there for 2 years, the things is I do not remember most of the things that happened there. What I remembered was 3 pre time that we had there. We had morning prep from 6.45am to 7.15am, afternoon prep form 2.00pm to 4.30pm, then night prep from 9.00pm to 11.00pm EVERDAY.

I was and still am a very regular person, there is nothing outstanding about me. Average looking person, with an average IQ and average personality, so I wasn't made that much impact when I was there. And I am a very shy people who do not like to make the first move of making a new friends. I like to stick with my own little group. While in Sains Muar; I as close with Elly, Add and Safi, we called ourself NTT(do not ask me what it was-totally forgot what it meant. I think it's something to do with anti...something) And to made things worse after SPM, I was accepted to go to UK immediately after SPM and there were only 3 of us from the same school; myself, Lin Selamat and Nikhat. Even them we were separated to a different group. So, I was left alone for 3 months( this is when we had our so call preparation classes before we fly off to either UK or Canada). This was in Seksyen 8 Shah Alam, and I went back home every weekends while the rest of the studenst took this opportunity to get to know each others. may I should do that to, but like I said I was not the person who introduced myself to a stranger unless it was a good looking guy :D and furthermore most of the students came from the same school, so they had their group already and I did not want to interfere with that-maybe I should and I was sure they won't mind but I was having this inferior complex as they would like to call it.

Then I was off to UK, I think the first 3 months there I was so unhappy, I had no friends and I was in a different country. Most of my collegues was devided into 2 groups; 1 group was extremely religious- they do not talk to guys and everyweekends they went around UK preaching-which is si not me at all; the other group was the Rich & Famous people who travel in and out of UK on monthly basis, while to me shopping in GAP was the highlight of my life, to them it was a disgrace. So not for me either. Again, I found myself without someone that I could call friend. Until I really get to know Yatie, then we clicked. We could talked for hours about anything and nothing and life changed for me. With her I built up my confidence. She taught me to be confidence in myself and how to mingle with people. And I dare say that I do changed after that, I would try to be the first to approach people.

Then, this facebook came along. At first I was sceptical about it, I thought it was only for younger generations who listen to hip hop and none of the soft pop. But I was surprised when 1 by 1 my friends joined it-even friedns from work, so I told myself what the heck-let's give it a try and I'm so glad that I joined and am hoping that this time around I will be a better friends, and really hope that this will last forever.

Things that happened to you in 24 hours

2008-02-17T23:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever feel that so many things can happened to you in 1 day?? That's what happened to us yesterday.

It started with our normal Sunday routine, woke up in the morning with the sounds of my kids. Then we went out for breakfast at our normal stall for a glass of teh ice, roti canai and nasi lemak. Then off to my parents place to do our laundry(yes, I did my laundry at my parents place-we do not own a washing machine)

While I was doing my laundry, Amli will read Sunday papers and the kids will keep them amused by either playing with each others or playing with my sister's kittens.

At about 11am, we went back to our place and when we arrrived at out front gate, 2 boys approaced me and started selling the books, and CDs. They were from one of those so called 'private' sekolah pondok. I alwys pity them,so I wanted to buy few bookf from them, as I was about to ask how much were those books, Amli came and gave the boy RM5.00 and told him to buy drinks for both of them since they looked thristy. I had another idea, I just asked them to come inside and I will prepared drinks for them so that they can keep the fiver that Amli gave them. They looked a bit reluctant, I bet they must be thinking it is safe to follow this mak cik but I guess they felt safe seeing that I have 3 louds kids behind me. Once they were inside, Amli started asking them questions, where they from, which schools, how old are they. Both of them are from Johore but they went to school in Rompin, they are seelingthose books to help finance their schools and they are 14 years old. I felt so sorry for them but at the same time I admired them. They are willing to do go from door to door to sell things that most of people won't even thinking of buying so that their school can run and they can gain knowledge. I gave them a bag of goodies so that they can eat when they are hungry. I also gave them a bottle of water each since yesterday was a very hot day and they have to walk in the sun to sell RM15.00 books.

After they left, Amli and I were still talking about them, we were wondering why the school cannot get the fund form government. The parents that send their kids there are from low income earners and the schools cannot ask them for fees but at the same time, the school have to survive, they need to pay for the teachers who has to feed their families. It a vicious cycle that most of us are in it. That is I don't understand about our current government, they can send man to space that cost the tax payer millins of ringgit but they failed to see that they are many people that culd benefits from that money. Inilah yang dikatakan, monyet di hutan disusukan, anak di rumah mati kelaparan. Sungguh tak paham.

Another incident that happened to us yeaterday was a scary things, at about 12 noon I realised that Adriana had a slight temperature, and this brings warningbell to our head. Immediately we gave her fever medicine but her temp kept going up, Amli decided to bath her but on the way to our toilet, Adriana has a nother episode of seizure and this time it was really bad, her lips and fingers turned blue and we were panicking, tried my very best to wake her finally after seems like hours she was her old self. After that she was ok but at night her temperature was 38.7 and it kept flactuated which means that I did not sleep at all last night.

This morning while tyding up the kitchen, I realized all the above happened in 1 day and it seems lots for me to take. Today Adriana is still having her fever and luckily it is my off day so that I can looked after her. At the moment she is slepping maybe out of exhausted or because of the medicine, and it's time for me and Amli to have a serious discussion either we want to give her drug to prevent her seizure or risking havin another episode of seizure. It's hard become parents when it comes to this. I just prayed that whatever decision that we take, it will be the best for her.

Thing that I should write last December

2008-02-17T22:58:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to write about this last December since it is about my new year resolution but with limited access of internet at work and no internet access at all at home, this has been delayed for 2 months but better late than never right??

My resulotion for this year is not to have COCA COLA for 365 days!!!! This is a big deal for me since the last time I made new year resolution was when I was in school-more of have to rather than want to. You know when you were in school, the first thing that your BM teacher will ask you in the begnning of the year was to do an essay on "Azam Tahun Baru Saya", and another thing is I LOVE COKE(Cola that is). I must have it at least once a day, I know it's bad but I must have it.

And to think that I was never a coke fan 10 years ago, I think I started drinking coke excessively was when I started working with BC!! I think dealing with the customers every day did this to me, I must have sugar to keep me sane and drinking coke is the easier way of getting high. I cannot afford to go shopping when I need something to boast me up, can't go clubbing when you have 3 small kids to look after or rather no one to look after them when you go out clubbing and clubbing was never my thing anyway.

I know coke is bad for you, I know too much sugar level in you body will bring you harm in later day but I just can't seem to stop drinking it, and it became worse that my bad habit has also effected my kids. Since I must have coke, we have a constant supply of it at home and once we had it, the kids will want to drink it. I can't tell the kids not to drink it because I did, and this is not a goos example.

So, 2 weeks before new year, I told Amli that I wantedto stop drinking coke for 2008, and if I'm successful I will reward myself with either a designer handbag or a leser treatment for my eyes-depending on my mood at that time.

So, people..I need lots of support on this especially when things are going crazy at work. If I sound cranky or mean to you, please rememer that it was not me because I'm a very nice person, it's the lack of coke that did this to me. Wish me lusk people and if anyone of you out there know how to do the counter thingy on your blog, please let me know, I want to put it in,so I know how much longer till the day that I can have a sip of COKE.

La....itu kura-kura!!!

2007-09-19T17:39:00.000-07:00

When I'm feeling down, I will always remeber this incidents and it always brings smile to my face.

It happened to me when I was in 6th form in Berkhamsted School for Girls. I still remember it laike it was yesterday. It happened when me, Yatie and Jenn were in our room talking about Jenn's trip to Malaysia the coming summer. We were in the middle of the things to do and places to visit when she was in Malaysia.

Somehow, we came to what to do and things to see when we were in Terangganu( we were planning to take her to all over Malaysia). Yatie and I were telling Jenn about turtles and if we were lucky we could see real turtles when they are hatching. Jenn was not sure how turtles look like, and me and Yatie were trying really hard to explain it to her. We paint the picture of turtles with our words. I guess we were not doing a good job on this as Jenni is still confused, and kept asking us how turtles looked like, she then described a tortoise and withour realizing it I blurred out loud "LA, ITU KURA-KURA!!!"

The best part was that Jenni didn't realized that I was talkingin Malay and I also was not aware of it until we jeard Yatie laughing her head off and then she told me waht happened and I also join in laughing at myself. It was so funny and Yatie & myself kept on laughing, and poor Jenn still haven't got a clue why we were laughing so hard.

I'm sure that this incident won't happened if we have internet access at that time, we can just googled turtles and show the pictures to her, but then again I won't have this nice memories for me to treasure!!!

Waiting

2007-09-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

I went for this Customer Service training at Bankers' Club, and this phrase came out in the training quite often "waiting period". We were discussing on why people on geberal hate waiting especialy for a lng period of time and how they will become crankier.

Strangely, I don't mind waiting!! It's true, I can wait for hours without complaining especially if I'm waiting in a very comfortable place, i.e with air-cond and place to seat on. Throw me a gossip magazine and I won't mind waiting for hours!!! I treat this waiting time as 'me moment', this is the time where I can be alone and I don't have to think about anything in particular especially work and life. I can dream while waiting :)

When I was about 18 years old, I had to wait for my date to show up for almost 4 hours. Other people might just gave up and thought that this is bad date, but not me, I waited for him and he did arrived after 4 hours!!!and we did had a great date after that(the fact that he is a bit blur also contributed on why I was willing to wait for him!!). No, I did not end up with him :)

I learned to appreciate the time that I have after I joined this business called Omegatrends(I did not interested in the business part of it but the personal development part really do me good-I learned alot form it). I learned that I should always seize the day(macam Ross in Friends), I learned that I should look at the positive side of it rather than the nagative side. It took me awhile to master that skill as I been brought up with this attititude of looking at things negatively rather than positively, now I really don't mind waiting, but the downside of it is that since I don't mind waiting I assume others won't mind too. So, people if I keep you waiting please bear in mind that I did not do it intentionally :)

GOT IT!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

yes, got the post after went thru all those things. But I'm still at my current post as management has yet decided when I should report to my new manager.

I will be losing few previllage when I join the new post. I will be losing RM20 per month for my laundry allowance as I won't be wearing uniform after this(can bergaya sakan- but have to spend money buying new clothes). My time to surf the net and updating my blog will alsom be effected as where I'm sitting people can see what I am doing on my PC, and I will be workingon Saturday all the time!!!

At the same time I will saying goodbyes to CUSTOMERS!!!!!!!!! aand really looking forward for that.

Job Interview part 2

2007-08-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

Remember that I wrote that I will get the result of the interview on Monday?? Well, I did get the feedback from the manager, but it was not THE feedback that I was looking for. Instead of just simply tell me either I ge the poat or not, turned out that I have to do a business presentation!!!! My last business presentation was like 6 years ago!!! I was really close of telling her No to this, I really cannot take it anymore, luckily I have few friends that supported me and are willing to help me prepare for it.

So, yesterday after lunch I was busy preparing for the presentation which by the way is next week on Monday and it is my off day(another good reason of saying no to this). This means that I have to come to the office on my off day and since I don't have a car it means that I have to ask Amli to send me to work which means I have to leave house as usual(arrive in the office at 7.30am and the presentation is only at 2.15pm)

What really bother me about this whole thing is not the presentation part, but the whole process itself. Why is the manager try to prove here? That if I'm suck at this mock presentation it means that I suck for the presentation as a whole? and this post is only officer level, it is not even a manager post so why go thru all of these? To me the presentation skills you get it once you are in the post where you can find all the relevant informations and data to support your findings. And what irritates me the most is that doing presentation is not an easy job, you have to find the informations put it in the power point and then you have to make sure that the things that you put in the presentation are exactly presentable and all of these take time. Which I don't have. Imagine doing these while you are still doing your current job!!!! How unfair is that you us??

Just spoke to one of the team member, who knows that I have to do this and she told me that just do it because her boss(the manager that decide who gets the job) actually have her own preference and I spoiled her plan by applying to this job and did well in the application and the interview. And this presentation was her boss's instruction!!!

I'm so fed up about this whole things, and I mught just say No to this crap...

Will update later.

Job Interview

2007-08-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

I applied for a new post last month, this new post is with another part of my big department. For those who is not from BC,my department is Englisg & Exam services. Currently I am with English part of the department and the post that I'm applying is for the Exam part. The post is a new post and it sounded interesting. After much thinking about it, I decided to apply for it.

As internal applicant, I have to fill in a very tough questions based on the competencies that needed for the job. This is the first hurdle ok, the questions taht they asked were not like normal questions, you must give real life examples and you have to be very specific stated when this happened, why and how and what and all that things. Managed to fill the form, asking few collegaues for a feedback, and saw my line manager for her feedback.

I was shortlisted for the post and the interview was last Thursday. Knowing that I always suck at interview I asked for my line managers to prepare me for this, so on Wednesday we had our mock interview. The thing is our corporate have a standard questions that they asked in the interview so it was much like you have the questions before the exam and you can prepared the answers, so I prepared all the answers based on the questions from the question banks. Went to the mock interview and got the feedback and I was all set for the real thing.

Went to the office on Thursay morning feeling all charged up and ready for the interview. At about 11am, I received an email from the manager of the department that I'm applying to, that I have to do an hour assigment before the interview!! I was like what the h**l, but what can I say, I cannot say no right, so I said yes but at the same time emailed by line manager to let her know, apparently the other candidate also told her line manager and her line manager was not very happy about this assigment thing and complained to the person in charge, so after lunch I received another email stated that the assigment thing was off...phew..lucky me.

So, 4pm went up to the interview and it was HORRIBLE!!!!HORRIBLE!!!!, none of the questions that they asked were from the banks, I was like "I'm dead meat", This is not what I expected at all, but what can I do, I'm here and they expected an answer from me, luckily I'm quite good at "merapu" so I just answered them with added ingredients!!! For this post there were about 7 competenies and the questions were based on these, but was surprised me most is that there were 2 parts and 3 parts questions, which I found out later that this is not allowed!!!!

After the 30mins in the interview session, I left with a headaches and a lump in my heart, thinking that, the interview was the worst interview that I went thru. I was exhausted by the end of the day that I just felt asleep soon after dinner.

The next day, my line manager came down and asked me how was the interview and I told him that it was horrible, and he was shocked saying that I did very well in the mock interview with him. Told him the whole story and he was not happy with the whole interview thing and told me that he going to complained to the person in charge, I was like please do, but then I know this not going to make any difference.

I will only know the result on Monday, this is another thing that I don't understand, the manager told me that the decision will only be known on Monday when the director come back form her trip, I was like why she needs to wait for the director? The director was not in the interview, she would not have any idea how we performed in the interview!!! Apa lah....but just wait and see, now my attitide is if I get it then I get it if not HE has another plan for me.

Jakarta 24/07-26/07/2007

2007-07-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

I went to Jakarta last week for Managing Performance training. I was told that I am going to the training about 2 weeks ago and I was not really looking forward for it as it is only 1 day training and I am so sure that it will be a tiring experienced and with only 1 day for sure you can make the most of the trip by sight seeing and of course the main agenda for going to any new place shopping.

However, I tried to make the most of it so I googled places to go in Jakarta( well, actullay places to shop in Jakarta) if you only have 1 day, and few names came up.

24/07/07
We departured from KL on 24/07, and our flight was at 9am which meant that I had to check in at 7am, which also meant that I had to leave house at 6.30am, which meant that I had to wake up at 5.30am!!! So, off we went to KL Sentral and checked in at 7am. I took the ERL about 7.10am and reached KLIA exactly 28 minutes after that. I went to had my breakfast at McDonalds, then at about 8am my boss called me and informed me that she is already inside the airport and our gate has been changed, we had to take the shuttle train to our gate and that only leaved me a few minutes to catch the train. Our flight was MH 711, and it was delayed 30 minutes, we departured from KLIA at 9.30am, and arrived in Soerkarno-Hatta airport at 10am(Jakarta time- an hour behind KL). The journey from the airport to our Sultan Hotel took us nearly 1 1/2 hours as traffic was bad(according to the driver).

We reached our hotel at about 12 noon, my room was great, I particullay liked the king size bed, and really looking forward of sleeping on it. We decided to have a rest first before exploring the shopping malls in Jakarta. At about 2pm, we left the hotel and decided to stop at BC Jakarta to see how was the office. The person that we corresponded with was at training, and the other person that we know of was in the meeting, so with nobody to guide us we just make BC Jakarta like our own office!! My Boss checked her email while I could not be bother with office works at the moment. After about an hour, we decided to go our and venture Jakarta. My boss asked the receptionist where is the best place to shop and she told us "Blok M", we thought what the jesk, let's try that. We took a cab and then asked the cab driver, if we want to go to "mangga 2" will it take us a long time. He said about 30 minutes, we were looking at each other and decided to go to Mangga 2 instead. Little did we know that the 30 minutes drive will turned out to be more than an hour with the ride that you will never forget. There were few times that we thought that we will end up in the hospital.

We arrived at Mangga 2 about 4pm, our first impression of the place was " this is like Sungai Wang" but with lots more people and more hectic. First we got lost as in we don't know where to start or what to look at. But I know that Mangga 2 is famous for cheap handbags, and other cheaps stuff. When we went around the first around, and what we found was expensives stuff. We could not find the cheap handbags that we were looking for. Oh, by the way Mangga 2 is 5 storey high, since we had time we wentto each floor but we found out that the happening floor is still the ground floor. This is where all the cheap stuffs. On our way down then we found it, stall selling cheap handbags, it was Rp 50,000 which is about RM19++. It was not bad, and the way they sell it was they just put all the bags on the floor and you just pick one that you fancy and ask the man in charge if they have any other colour available. That was fun, I bought 2 handbags, and Robina(my boss) also bought 2!! We wanted to do more shopping but as we wnet around we saw traders are packing up their stuffs, apparently they are closing. We were dissapointed as now we know what we wanted but we can't, how sad. Geram tau.

Jakarta tarffic on that day was so bad, it took us another hour to reached our hotel, and we had another dinner arrangement with our counterpart from Vietnam, we decided to go out and be a bit advebtures by going to the nearest mall form our hotel which is Plaza Semayan. Since we were in Jakarta so we wanted to have dinner tha is traditional food so we trying very hard to avoid Mcdonalds(altho my boss kept insisted that she wanted to see either the taste of Cheesburger in Jakarta is the same as the one in KL. So, we had nasi padang at it was delicious..sedap!!! especially the ayam bakar, it was so different from ayam bakar in KL.

Plaza Semayan is something like Starhill where you can find all expensives shops there, and the people you met there are so much different form the indonesian that we met here in KL(obviouslly). Their dressing was amazing, form top to toe all designer materials, Gucci, Dior, Prada, etc. Amazing.

25/07/07

The day of the trainning. The trainer was Andy Gunnet from BC Singapore, the participants were all over SEA, we had participants from Vietnam, Manila, Jakarta, and Malaysia. It was a good day as I learned how to deal with people in term of their performance. I learned how to be a good line manager by giving encouragement to my line managees, how to deal with poor performance, etc. The trainning was the whole day which meant that we were stuck in the hotel room but my host promised us that she will take us to a place where we can still shop, which was Pasaraya. This is more like KLCC to us, where middle income earners can still buy something here. We went to the place where we can buy things that we can bring home as a souveniours to our family.

After shopping(managed to spend Rp 900,000)off we went to a place called Pisa Cafe for our dinner. This place is THE place to be in Jakarta after office to chill out. It was packed with people and the place was full. It's like HRC, Planet Hollywood kinnda place. The food was ok, but since we were starving form our shoppingtrip we managed to finis off 6 large pizzas, 2 baskets of nanchos, 2 baskets of calamari, and by the way us means 6 of us..all ladies!!!

I had a very disturbing conversation with the taxi driver about fact of live on the way to the restaurant. Upon knowing that I was Malaysian hence can speak malay, the taxi driver said that Malaysia economy is much better than theirs, told him that we are also not so great as prices has increased and layman like us finding it a bit hard also. He then told me that his son has to dropped out form Uni because he cannot pay the lastest installment of the fee which is only Rp500,000, which is about RM193. He has another 6 months before graduating and he has to stop because they are poor. How unfair is that?? It was hreatbreaking for me to hear that as I can sense the saddnest in his voice. I asked him either has he asked any help from the govertment(hoping that the govt will do something to the people), he then sighed and I had my answer. When we left I gaev him extra rp10,000 hoping that it will make a different to him. This made me realized that everywhere people are suffering and these are the voices of the people, will the people in power hear us?? Does they understand the hardship that we are going thru??? I really hope one day that taxi driver will managed to find rp500,000 so that his son can bring them to a better place than what he is today.

26/07/07
I'm coming home!!! Our flight was at 11am, but we left early as we think it is better be safe than sorry. So, we reached the airprt 3 hours before the departure time. It was ok, went inside and finally managed to find Jakarta t-shirts. I bought 2, 1 for my dad and 1 for me/amli. Also managed to finished off all my rupiah!! Arrived in KL at about 2pm, and reached home at 5.30pm.

Overall it was a good trip, wishit could be more so that I can really discover Jakarta like I did with Yangon. Hope I can go there again. In the meantime, enjoy my photos:

MH 711 KL-Jakarta

View from my seat

Soekarno-Hatta Airport

Giant at Jakarta

In front of Sultan Hotel

In front of Sultan Hotel 2

My room 1069

View from my room

BC Jakarta

Ayam Bakar

Es Buweh(?) I think

Kudos to Immigration Department, Wangsa Maju

2007-07-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

I was impressed beyond words when I went to IDWM(Immigration Department, Wangsa Maju) to renew my international passport today. I knew that I can get my new chip passport in 2 hours from the website.

A colleague of mine went there about 2 months ago, and she told me that it took her 1/2 a day to get her new passport. So I assume that it will be the same to me.

I went arrived at their office at about 7.15am(they only open at 8am)but there are already people waiting in front of their door. I came fully prepared(so i thought), I had my 2 passport size photo, which I dare say that I look rather dashing, and photocopy of my IC( I even had photocopy of my passport)and downloaded form.

At about 10 to 8am, their security guard went to approach us and asked us to form a queue in front of the door, this is to be fair to everybody who was there like me at 7.15am. I was third in the queue. Then at 8am sharp, the door was opened and we were ushered in by the security guard. I was thinking this is a good system where this is really a first come first serve basis( not like our office where they can be at the door first but when the door open other people can beat the queue and get the number before them-maybe I should suggest this in the next CS meeting)

I went to the number counter, when I showed my form to the officer there, he told me that downloaded form must be printed front and back-damn it, this is not mentioned anywhere in their website!! I had to buy the form and had to fill it up before I get my number, so instead of I was the 3rd in queue now my number is 1008.

I was given the number at 8.09am, and less than a minute my numner was called. I was quite happy. Then it's time for me to wait for payment, I was warned by my colleague that this can take a long time as the number that that they call is not in sequel.

But at 8.11am, my number was called for the payment. The officer then told me that my passport will be rady in an hour time. I was ok. I was not sure either should I go out first and buy something or should I wait here just in case they called me before an hour. And tomy surprised they started calling then number at 8.20am, and since they told us i.e the customers that the passport will be rady in an hour, most of the customers left and I assume they though in an hour time they will come back and they don't have to wait for a long time. My number was called at about 8.30am. I was impressed, my whole process took less than 30 mins!!!

This make me thinking about OUR level of service and how during busy time our customers have to wait for more than 1 hour to be served. There were times when the number of the staff in the immigration department outnumbered the customers!! Something that never going to happen here at BC.

I salute the immigration department, they has exceed customer expectation and this is what we call an excellent customer service. Really wish that we can do that here.

Breakfast at Tiffany

2007-07-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I was on leave and while channel surfing I accidentally 'bumped' into this movie. I first saw this movie long time ago and it's always bring good feeling to me.

At the time in my life when all things are not doing very well, this movie actually bring hope. It's like 'HIM' is giving me a hint everything will be alright no matter how bad things are now.

I always love this movie, Audrey Hepburn brings the new meaning of being classy and my God George Peppard was damn good looking in that movie(so much different from the A-team era). Breakfast At TIffany(BAT) also reminds me that money is not everything, Holly Golightly tried to choose money over love but she failed. She realized that money does not guarantee that she will be happy, althought she admitted that nothing bad can happen to her in Tiffany, and how hard it is to find something in Tiffany for USD10.00. She chose love over money and at that moment of time, I also agreed with her-that money cannot buy hapiness but I was soon brought back to reality. Money cannot buy happiness but money can buy things that make you happy, will you be happy when you can have the latest handbag from Gucci or the latest N Series?? Of course you will be happy. That is what Holly Golight looking for but of course in the movie love will always wins. But in reality, it's totally a different stories.

I really wish that life will be easy like in the movie, you will find your true love, your hardship will be rewarded, etc,etc,etc. But like Monica says in "Friends" "real life is sucks but you will love it". I guess I just have to love the real world, but then again there is always second life :)

Not My Day

2007-07-11T21:05:00.001-07:00

Today is not my day with customers. It'smy share of getting all the irritating customers and it started with my very first customers, and I know today is not my day.

My first customer was a father who wanted to registered his son for O-levels exam. He irritated me with all his questions about how the forms that have an obvious explanation on it, then he really get on my nreve when he asked me to photocopy his son's form. Told him that he can do it himself, he then asked me to copy it for him. Imagine my fury, told him that if he wants me to do that for him, he has to wait as i have 8 people in the queue that i have to serve. He agreed to that, after waited for 20 minutes, he then went to receptionists counter and asked them to copy the form for him. Luckily, they came and asked me first. Told them to ask him to WAIT, and I made him WAIT for 40 minutes!!! Padna muka, si kedekut to pay for RM0.40 to do his own photocopy. IDIOT!!!!

My second irritating customer was a lady who did her placement test but cannot make up her mind and i have to serve her for 30 minutes!!!! still she cannot make up her mind.

And i thought that is the end of lembab cutomers that i recieved. How wrong can I be, after that another lembeb customer....aiyoo..i cannot tahan anymore, another 30 minutes but at least this customer paid for his class.

Dah lah have to deal with these irritating people, have to deal with manager pulak.....

What a way to celebrate my birthday!!!!

Mind Your Language

2007-07-10T01:22:00.000-07:00

Tasya was chosen by her Maths's teacher as a standard monitor for the Maths's month. As a monitor, she have to do a presentation for the whole school, and the presentation was in English(as Maths & Science now are taught in English) The presentation was about our body parts.

So,last Sunday she was practising her presentation, and I noticed that the grammar was not right, I corrected her thinking that she was the one that make the mistakes. But last night, she showed me this piece of paper that have her speech and it was written by her teacher, and this how it goes:

"Good morning teachers and friend(apparently, there is only 1 friend on the whole school-but maybe this is a spelling mistake rather than grammar mistake). I won't mind about this that much, but the second paragraph caught my attention and I was shocked at first then I could not help it but laugh my head off.

This is how the rest of her presentation goes:

How many your ears?
How many your eyes?
How many your mouth?
How many your nose?
etc,etc,etc.

I was like, what the heck is going on here?? Showed it to my sister and we laughed and laughed and laughed until tears started coming out from our eyes.

Ok, I understand that Maths and Science teachers are not an English Teacher and they have been teaching those subjects in Malay for maybe 10- 15 years and suddenly Govertment imposed this new thing where Maths & Science are now taught in English but at least have a bit of inciative and checked the grammar part with a proper English teacher. I asked Tasya does she realized that there were mistakes in her presentation? She said Yes, then I asked her why don't you corrected it? Then she said she got the paper 10 minutes before her presentation, and apparently in class when her Maths teacher have any problems with English words, she went and ask Tasya.

Make me wonder about the standard of our education, don't you? Maybe I should write to the ministry and ask them what are they going to do about this?

When Mama falls ill

2007-07-02T23:06:00.000-07:00

When Mama falls ill
She still have to wake up at 6.30am to prepare the kids for school
When Ayah falls ill
He just stays in bed

When Mama falls ill
She still have to wake up in the middle of the night to pacifier the kids
When Ayah falls ill
He just stays in bed

When Mama falls ill
She still have to make sure that the kids have thei dinner
When Ayah falls ill
He just stays in bed

When Mama falls ill
She still have to answer for every "mama" called
When Ayah falls ill
Nobody are allowed to say a word

When Mama falls ill
Nobody looked after her
When Ayah falls ill
Everybody have to stay in the hospital

When Mama falls ill
Ayah also falls ill
When Ayah falls ill
Mama have to be the superwoman

When Mama falls ill
Kids are not happy
When Ayah falls ill
Kids eat McD for lunch & Pizza for dinner

When Mama falls ill
World does not stop
When Ayah falls ill
Everything STOP.

Selayang Hospital

2007-06-20T20:30:00.000-07:00

We went to Selayang Hospital yesterday for Adriana's eye follow up. We have to check her eyes every 6 months, and yesterday was the 3rd time. As Selayang Hospital is a govertment hospital, so we went there early in the morning hoping that we will be able to see the doctor before 12 noon.

We reacjed there ar 8.00am, there was already a queue at the payment counter. The process in the Selayang Hospital is that first you have to take a number and wait at the payment counter to make the payment. This usually will take about 20 to 30 minutes. After you made yoru payment, then you have to go to your desired clinic and in Adriana's case Optomology Department. You passed your appointment card to the counter and you have to wait again for them to call you to give you your number. This also will take probably about 30 to 45 minutes.

After this you wait again, as for Adriana she has to see optomology first then the doctor. Again, we have to wait. We been thru these process twice before, so we sort of know what to expect. But yesterday the waiting period was ridicilous. We saw the optomology at 9.30am, and again at 10.30am, so we thought that by 11am we will be called to see the doctor, how wrong we were.

We were still waiting until 12.30 noon, by this time Adriana was restless beyond words, she kept crying and asking you to hold her. All the food that I bought were all finished. By this time, I lost my patience. I went to the reception counter and asked the nurse, who do I see if I want to lodge a complaint. She told me that I can see the sister(who is the person in charge of the nurses).

I went and saw the sister, told her about my dissatisfaction, she then asked me what time is my appointment-I told her that it was at 11am, and I'm still here at 12.30 noon. She then asked me what time I arrived at the hospital, told her that I was there at 8.30am. She then kindda of implied to me that it was my fault as I was supposed to be there 30 minutes before my appointment time, I then asked her if I come at say 10.30am would you guarantee that I will be able to see the doctor at 11am?? She told me no, but at least I don't have to wait for too long. I almost laught at her face.. Yeah, right..if I come at 10.30a, I bet I only be able to see the doctor at 3pm!!! But at least she listened to me.

We almost gave up yesterday, the only reason why we stayed was because this hospital is the only one that have a doctor that specialist in eyes and also a pediatric. So, we have no choice but to wait luckily for us the doctor is such a nice doctor, and she is good with Adriana which is what matter the most.

So, in another 6 months time the same thing will happen again.

Why???

2007-06-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

Things are not going well in my life lately or in our life for that matter. Just when things are doing OK, another bad things happened to us. This is like a cycle in our life right now. And to tell the thruth, I'm sick of this situation...I really do. I do not know how long can I be in this situation without going crazy over it.

I know people would say be patient, there is a rainbow at the end of the road and blah..blah...blahh but how long is this road and how difficult it will be?? I need to know, I really do. I cannot do this anymore, just going to the road and face this obsticles and the hard work and believe me I have been to this road for the past 4 years and until now I still yet to find the rainbow!!!! Where is the d**m rainbow???

Sometimes I feel like this is payback time from Allah for all the sins that I committed before, is this so? And if this is so, isn't that enough already?? I'm good people, I try to be a good daughter to my parents, I visit them everyday(well the fact that my kids are with them does not count), I try to be a good mother, I spend time with my kids, I cook for them(not always but heh, I did), I sleep with them, I do anything for them. And of course I try to be a good wife but still I feel like this is all not enough. Why is my life end up like this?? Why no good things are happening to me?? WHY?WHY?

This is the question that I try to ask and I get no reply. None whatsoever. Try asking my husband and he keeps telling me be patients,try asking myself but I cannot find the answer. I'm sick of crying at night thinking about my life, I'm sick of having no money at the end of the month to buy things that I like just for the sake of having it. I'm tired of the fact that I HAVE to work and not that I WANT to work, I really do, and I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

And at this very moment this is how I feel

Hey God, I'm just a little man got a wife and family
But I almost lost the house, Yeah I bought into the dream
We're barely holding on when I'm in way too deep
We're two paychecks away from living out on the streets

She's a workin' single mom, like a Saint she don't complain
She never says a word, but she thinks that she's to blame
Her son just got convicted, he blew some punk away
She did her best to raise him, but the world got in the way

Hey God - Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shit's gone
It keeps on getting harder hanging on
Hey God, there's nights you know I want to scream
These days you're even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God....
Do you ever think about me

Born into ghetto in 1991, just a happy child
Playing beneath the summer sun
A vacant lots' his playground, by 12 he's got a gun
The odds are bet against him, junior don't make 21

Hey God - Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shit's gone
It keeps on getting harder hanging on
Hey God, there's nights you know I want to scream
These days you're even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God....
Do you ever think about me

I'd get down on my knees, I'm going to try this thing your way
Seen a dying man too proud to beg spit on his own grave
Was he too gone to save?
Did you even know his name?
Are you the one to blame, I got something to say

Hey God - Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shit's gone
It keeps on getting harder hanging on
Hey God, there's nights you know I want to scream
These days you're even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God....
Do you ever think about me

I really do feel like that.......................

Weird dreams

2007-06-08T17:54:00.000-07:00

I've been having this dreams so many times and it's kindda get into me. If I'm not mistaken, last night was the 3rd times I had the same dreams. I was dreaming that I was pregnant again.

The first time I had that dreams I thought well it was a dream so nothing to it. Then few months after that I had the pregnant dream again then last night AGAIN. It felt so real that when I woke up I felt that I was actually pregnant!!!

In real life, I'm not planning to have another kids. Both of us agreed on this. We felt that it won't be fair emotionally and financially to both Adriana and the new baby. Adriana needs our undivided love, care and money. And kids today are not cheap. I wish it would be the other way around as I really love kids but at the moment we just cannot to have another baby.

So far, ALLAH has been kind to us and HE agrees with our plan but this dreams started to bug me. What is my body or my subconcious mind is trying to tell me?? Is my biological clock is ticking again???

So, I do what any sane people would do, googled it and voila, this is what I found

I have been having this thought of quitting my job(well I had that since I first started working) but the thought become more intense this year. I ever told Amli that this year is definately my last year working, and Amli also is working on his project that if work out can give us financial freedom that we are working for our whole lives.

Maybe that is, maybe that is what my subconcious mind is trying to tell me. I really hope that is that, not my biological clock. I really don't think that I can go thru another labor pain and sleepless night-if I can help it, and believe me I'm doing everything thing I can to make sure that this dreams is the dreams that will not come true!!!

Sick weeks

2007-05-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

This week has been declared by me as 'Sick Week'. Never expect this to happen, like people would say "kita hanya merancang Allah yang menentukan". I had plans for this week, on Monday I plan to download pictures that I took over the weekends and write about the final concert of AF. But Allah have a different plan for me. At 4pm I received a call from Adriana's nursery, she has a seizure attack. Luckily for me, the staff there are trained so they know what to do and since Amli is working as a freelance so to say, so it's easy for him to just drop everything and fetch me. It totally slipped my mind that my Dad will pick her up in 30 minutes time.

By the time we reached her nursery, my dad had picked her up and she does not look good. We rushed to my parents place and immediately drove to her usual pediatrician. Even then she was incoherent, she was not her usual self and it scared the s**t of me.

Arrived at the hospital and saw the doctor at the parking lot. He just arrived there for his afternoon shift. I waited for him in the clinic, the moment that he stepped in I launch her history and just followed him to his clinic. I created not a very pleasent atmosphere since there are people waiting to see the doctor before me but do I care?? NO...my Adriana needed the doctor's attention PRONTO.

She had another episode at the clinic so no choice but we had to admit her for at least 1 night for observation. Again, we were at the same room as last time and doing the same thing again.

Amli had to go to Penang the very next day, this trip is important for his business so he has to go. That leaves me to handle 3 kids alone for 1 day, with me with Adriana in the hospital and other 2 at my parents' place.

Amli arrived home at about 8pm and he doesnot look good. He was shivering and his body was so hot. He also not feeling well. And when Amli is not feeling well that only means one thing, he will become unbearable to me. He is even worse than Adriana. Penat tau, air sebelah pun still ask me to pick it up for him.

So, I end up having to looked after 2 sick 'babies' at home and it's really driving me mad. Apart from looking after the sick ones, I have to look after the healthy ones too. My days will start at 6.30am, wake Tasya up and then prepared her breakfast. Azrai will then woke up by himself and then both of us will send Tasya to school. OK, for those who knows me(that means all of us) knows how I hate driving but this week I have no choice but to drive. I drove Tasya to school, then came back and prepare Azrai for his school. Then send him to school. The amount of driving tha I did this week is more than the 5 years that I have my licences.

On Friday Amli still not well, so no choice but have to go to hospital. So, off we went to APSH. He was admitted due to viral fever. I did not go to work for almost a week and this is not good for my 'career' so I went to work on Friday but actually it was a relief for me too. I need to minggle with healthy people for a while. So, off to work but only half day. Went back at 5pm, straight went to hospital. At about 6.30pm went back to look at my 3 kids that I tumpang at my parents place.

We are planning to go for holidays next week since it was school holidays but guess we are spending the holidays at the hospital :(

Royal Wedding

2007-05-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

My favourite video at the moment. They said to forget something is to let go..to me to forget something or someone is keep looking at them or keep remembering them and have this motto that it aint't over till it over...

Enjoy...
Royal Wedding

p/s:
doesn't she looks familiar?? hmmmmm...i wonder who?? :)

UKAN Dinner

2007-05-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday Amli & I attended UKAN dinner organized by British Council. Our dinner was sponsored by our University, so we only paid RM20 for the dinner. Originally it was RM80.

The dinner was in KLCC,someone commented to me before that food in KLCC was not that great but the dinner was quite good actually. The entertaiment that night was great, I really enjoyed myself but I think it will be much better if the organized let us dit where we eant rather than assigned us to a table. I know the intention was for us to mingle to others but unfortunately my table mates were not that friendly :( Luckily I was seated with Aida, so we had a great time kutuking others :)

Here are the photos:

Aida, Uncle & me

Coventry University

Coventry University members

Shahrizan

FOCUS

Happy Mothers' Day

2007-05-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

I know this is a bit too late but Happy Mother's day to all the wonderful and amazing mothers out there. I never celebrate Mother's Day before, so I don't expect anything from my kids and my mother never expects anything from me either.

But Tasya being a wonderful daughter that she is gave me a red rose, which she bought form her bookstore and she gave me a card. It was so sweet.

Here is something that I found from the net to all us mothers. Enjoy....

You Know You're a Mom When...
In celebration of Mother's Day, here's a list of some of the funniest 'symptoms' of motherhood.
By Angela Jones

1. You plan your day according to when Sesame Street is on.
2. You have signed a check with a crayon.
3. You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car.
4. You wipe other kids' noses.
5. You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Desitin.
6. You have caught spit-up in your hand.
7. You leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse.
8. You have memorized the entire lineup of Saturday morning cartoons.
9. You have finally paid for all of your groceries and are heading out of the doors when you realize one of your kids has lost a shoe somewhere in the store.
10. You can recite Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham by heart.
11. You let your baby sit in his dirty diaper until Oprah is over.
12. You have shared a fifteen-minute conversation about your baby with a complete stranger at the grocery store.
13. You filled up your child's baby book before her first tooth appeared.
14. You silently curse people if they call during naptime.
15. You forgot your mother-in-law's first name because you now only refer to her as "Grandma."
16. You arrange your travel itinerary based on McDonald's Playland locations.
17. You are just as surprised when you sleep through the night as when your child does.
18. You consider the person who invented the Sippy Cup a genius.
19. You see a mom from your child's playgroup at the mall and know her son's name but not hers.
20. You consider it a major triumph if you shower by noon.
21. You justify every excessive crying spell with teething.
22. You pick up the phone and call your mother when your baby rolls over for the first time.
23. You have kept your favorite babysitter a secret from other mothers in your playgroup.
24. You have your pediatrician's telephone number on speed-dial.
25. You own the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection.
26. You find yourself humming the "Rubber Duckie" song in the shower.
27. You have dressed your baby in whatever is on top of the clean laundry pile.
28. You cry at Johnson & Johnson commercials.
29. You have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep.
30. You see your parents in a whole new light.
31. You consider parenting to be the best job in the world.

Me Bake??

2007-05-11T19:21:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I bake. Me bake after almost 7 years of not doing that. And the picture is the result and it was good too. Amli asked me to bake something for him, and he requested for chocolate cake. I wanted to do something simple first, I want it too be good. So, I called or rather smsed Yatie and asked for her recipe.

I enjoy baking but I don't like cooking, so if Amli ask me to bake I will gladly do it but don't ask me to cook. I will find 1001 excuses trying to get out from it.

So, I did it last Saturday and my family like it. I'm quite pleased with myself actually. I have this dream that one day I want to open a book cafe and this is the first step of realizing my dream, by start practising my culinary skills. And since the result was good I might do it more often...:)

Goodbye My lover

2007-05-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

Today is the saddest day of my life, most of the daily newspaper have the pictures of Raja Nazrin and his fiancee. And she was damn pretty. I used to have a huge crush on Nazrin(as I fondly called him). It started when I was 14 years old. I first saw him when Raja Azlan Shah was 'ditabalkan' as our King. It was on 1 documentary aired by TV3 about the new king and there he was. Looking ever so dashing and he has a major advantage-he is smart. Harvard graduate ok. So from that moment on, he was my knight in shining amour. I was so crazy about him. I could not talk about anything else but him.

I even know his full name, then not now. Now I can't even seem to remember my new i/c number without writing it down :) Suddenly Perak history was the most fascinating history in the Malaysia. I took the trouble to find anything about him. I even wrote a letter to him ok, that's how deep my feeling for him.

Once, my aunt met him for business thingy, and I found out about this. I literally forced my aunt to tell me anything everything about him. How was he like? (very gentleman and nice guy). What drink he took?(Coke-now you know why i drink coke). Everything, until my aunt gave up and refused to tell me anything. I used to berangan that 1 day somehow our path will cross and we will fall madly in love. I even berangan that I will be known as "Raja Permaisuri Perak" kihkihkih.

I had that feeling throughtout my teenage years. Unfortunately our path never crossed when we was still single so not chance there for my "Raja Permaisuri Perak' to become reality. But I met him twice when I was a married woman!!!! It's like Allah is telling me, you are not meant for him. Sedih tau. My hope was dashed this morning(as if there was any to begin with, but I'm happy for him-cliche tak??)

So, goodbye my lover and Zara please take good care of him.

Double Meaning

2007-05-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Received this from my friend:

"I want to ‘satisfied’ my certificates". What the customer meant was "I want to certified my certificates". I was drinking a cup of water when I read this, almost choked myself. How DO you satisfied your certificates...mmmhhh I wonder.

Another incident happened while I was in Uni. A group of us wanted to go for a picnic at the Combe Abbey( a famous park in Coventry). It is quite far from our campus, so one have to drive to go there. One student from China suddenly raised his hand and said " I want to come but I don't know how to come" A naughty replied from one of local student "use you hand" :)

Funny...I 'love' English Language :)

Our Society today

2007-04-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

I really do not know how to write about this. But I have to get it out from my system. This is about the 'Yin' saga. The missing boy. I have been following his story since it first came out in Malay Mail. Since then every day without fail I will go to nst online to find out latest news and it breaks my heart every time I read that he is still misssing.

Last Saturday however, it all changed. Yin has been found and returned to his parents. All this while he was with a Myanmar couple. At first police said that they was no criminal elements in this case, and the couple deserved the rewards. But the very next day, the story changed. I was shocked to know that people started questing the couple, why it took them 2 weeks before returning Yin, and they do not believe that they have no source of information about Yin beforehand. TV3 went to their house and it is true that they do not have TV, and when they said that they do not read newspaper-society started laughing at them as if this is the bizzarre things that they ever heard. Helllloooo...tengok BERSAMAMU TAK??? They are people out there that have no TV to watch, cannot read. They are MYANMAR for godness sake, you expect them to be able to read BM?? ohh...tak pun ENGLISH. AS I said earlier, I followed Yin story since beginning, and if I"m not mistaken MALAY MAIL is the only paper that cover the story intensively. Other papers, not as much as MM. SO, you cannot blame them for not knowing for happened.

And for once please think rationally before you start judging people. If you are a foreigner, would you dare go to a police station even to report something that is not your fault? I was in UK for 5 years-even when my purse was stolen, I do not go to the police station. I just reported my lost to the bank to cancel my credit card and my ATM card.

Why can't we give them benefit of a doubt?? Police are taking the couple for remended. Who is looking after their 5 kids?? Would the same thing happened if YIn was found by MALAYSIAN couple in the same situation? I mean if the malaysian couple found Yin and they were poor, I bet by now helps are pouring in for them, NGOS, Govet agancies are berlumba-lumba to help them, built up their house, give a proper education for the kids, I'm sure they would have TV by now. Are we being racist here???

And those people who started calling the police telling them that they saw YIn begging, where were you before?? Why when you saw Yin begging, you did not approach the woman he was with? Why don't you call the police, apa tak dea mobile phone??...hello..anak I 7 tahun pun ada mobile ok?? I really don't understand people today. Can't they see the good side of people without thinking either they have a hidden agenda or not. Even if they do, who are we to judge them? Don't we all have some hidden agenda one time or another?

I always believe that ALLAH moves in a very mysterious way. Who knows that it was the Myammar's couple destiny to find Yin and that RM10K was their. and by doing this we are defying their destiny.

I was brought up by always looking at the good side of people, and I will teach the same value to my kids too but it is sad our socirty today do not have the same values and it is such a waste.

Stupid is as stupid does

2007-04-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

I did something stupid today. It was so stupid I dare not to talk about it. I could not believe that I did that(well, actually I could actually but usually before I did things like this before I will make sure that I cover all my trace) but today I just follow my heart, and it landed me into a big file of mess. It was so bad there is no way I can undo it.

I'm ashamed even to think about it. Luckily for me, my best friend was on her annual leave and coincidentally was in KLCC. So, we met up for lunch and we analysed the things that I did and we came up to the conclusion that I was stupid.

Forrest Gump was right after all, stupid is as stupid does..sigh..

I hate favouritism (or yang sewaktu dengannya)

2007-03-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

I really do and today I encountered one incident that really upset me and it spoiled my mood for today.

I'm working in an industry that I met with kiasu parents all the times, and sometimes they used their connection to get what they want. What irrtated me the most is that, they came to see you, and only when they did not get what they want, they started using thier connection. And we are obliged to fulfil their request.

I gave you the incident that happened to me this morning as an example. A mother came to register her daughter for our test, and upon seeing her daughter's age, I informed her that there is only 1 place availabe for the class, and immediately wanted to book the place. I told her I cannot do that as places are first come first serve basis and we have to be fair to all our customers. She did not say anything and I assumed she was ok with it.

Then, a colleague of mind called me and informed me that apparently she is a friend of a friend(who used to come here and help with our international students)& she spoke to him and asked him to ask us to book a place for her daughter. My colleague was obliged to do that for him. And this gets to me really good. I fell like this undermine our authority as a staff working here. To me, if you want someone to help you with something, do it way before you at that place, do you get what I meant? Let me put it this way, like the mother if she wants to use her connection to ensure that her daughter will get the place, she should ask our mutual friend to help her way before she comes to our office. Not after she spoke to me and when things are not what she expected, then she went and used her connection. It really get to my nerves. And that feeling stays with me until lunch time. It effects my services to other customers.

Hmmmmm, yeah I know I take my job too seriously sometimes but that is just who I am. I don't want customers to go around and say that I'm not helpful enough to them while I was trying to be fair to everybody. Sometimes, you just csnnot please these people but still I hate favouritism.

Mourning for a loss

2007-03-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

I was in a mourning mood last night, I was so sad and at the same time consumed with guilt. I dropped our digital camera last night and it was broken :(

We just had the camera less than 1 year and now it's broken. After I inspected the level of damage of that camera, then went frantically searching for the service centre and the warranty card. All of these happened when I was in my room and Amli was downstairs. I could not find the warranty card and at first cannot find the service centre either.

Then Amli went up, I was complementing either to tell him or not. The moment he walked in the room I bursted into tears and confessed my sin to him. He just looked at me and then took the camera and inspected the damage. He did not say a word to me-which is an indication that he was mad, with capital M. He then left the room to have a shower. I felt so guilty about it all night long. Adriana upon seeing me upset went to me and hugged me( she was so sweet last night- as if she knows that I was upset, she hardly bother me at all, and did funny things to make me laugh)

After a while, I dare to face Amli and he was ok with it-finally. He told me to call up the service centre and checked either they can repair it and how much will it will cost, but since I was the one that broke it, I have to do all the dirty work and of course pay for the services...sigh..there goes my Thomas Sabo..isk!isk!isk!:(

Blogger Block

2007-03-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm having blogger block for like a long time. I have nothing to write, well maybe because nothing interesting happened to me lately.

Life have been normal(alhamdullilah),no sick kids for the past weeks. No extra-ordinary activities except for the part that I'm applying for a new job at my old company(do you think it's wise??). Current work is becoming more and more unbearable, how do you feel working for the same things for the past 5 years? Saying exactly the same things over and over and over for 1,825 days, the only different is the fees(which keep on increasing year after year). Do I suffer in silence? of course no, I told my management about this but still here I am, what happened to creating opportunity worldwide and equal opportunity that the management keep on telling you over and over again. Unfortunately, it's only in the paper.

Still..I have nothing to write........

Heavenly Master

2007-02-27T00:35:00.000-08:00

Nothing to do at work, so found this...

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Tagged

2007-02-25T18:29:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by Yatie about weird facts...heh..hehe..tough ones as I do not have any weird things :)

SO, after hard thinking here goes my weird facts:

i)Counting
I like counting things, I don't like maths but I like counting, like when I walk along the street, I will start counting the pavement, and then I will multiply it by whatever number that come to my mind(usually it will either be 5 or 7-don't ask why), or I will start counting the number of windows at certain buldings. Weird I know...

ii)Smells
I like smelling weird things like petrol, marker pen, glue(not to extend of getting addict to the smell..please) and my favourite one was the smells of my kids first thing in the morning. Before they wash their face. To me that the best smell in the whole wide world. I will make sure that I will kiss them every morning,and really enjoy myself doing that.

iii)Brushing my hair
Like Yatie, I also have to brush my hair the moment I wake up from sleep...It's a must and I will get upset if I cannot find my hairbrush and it will spoil my day. See, the importance of brushing my hair in the morning, otherwise I will be very crancky for the rest of the day.

iv)Eating routine
Again like Yatie, I also very particular about the arrangement of the dishes and rice in my plate. The rice have to be in the middle and the dishes have to be in the side. If I put the gravy on the rice, it has to be in an equal distribution. And when I eat it has to be in the same order, say first I will put the first dish on the rice, then the second dish, only after I have put all the dishes that I will eat the rice. And it has to be the same order thruout the meal.

v)Food Allergies
I am allergic to some sea food but not all. I'm allergic to prawns and crabs but I can eat the rest. However, I can them if they are like really fresh. Then I'm fine. Otherwise my mouth and tongue will swollen and it will itch like mad.

vi)
I cannot think of anything else that weird about myself. But if you want to know more probably my husband is the best person to ask. I'm sure he can give you more than 6 weird facts about his wife...:)

And another sad fact about myself..I do not have blog friends except from Yatie(who tagged me in the first place) and Jenn..So, Jenn..you are the one one that I can tag.

p/s:
this is not like the chain letter right? where you HAVE to tag certain number of people otherwise you life are doom? Otherwise..I'm toast.

Organ Donor...Do I dare?

2007-02-21T18:02:00.000-08:00

I was reading this morning and this thought keep playing in my mind(I am supposed to write my Self Assessment but...). I wanted to do that, the organ donor thing but I'm not sure about it. At first it was due to the religious thing, I was brought up believing that your body belongs to Allah, and when you come back to Him everything must be intack. But then, if by donating you organ can help other to live why not. Islam is a religious of giving and Allah would understand my good intention. So, that's settle my first huddle of my good intention.

My second concern is my family's reaction. How do they react about this? Do they ok with it or they will give my a hard time? I'm sure it will be the later. And do I really dare to sign on the dotted line? I know I'll be dead by the time they cut me out and take out my heart, kidney, my eyes, etc but still the thought keep haunting me, and do the new person will care about my organs when they get it or will they abuse it by smoking or eating the wrong things or looking at things that they are not supposed to look?

I really really in between about this matter. One minute I was all for it and the next I'm chicken out. I wish I have more information about this, from personal experienced not from articles in the newspaper. I want to know how the donors' families deal with this(we hear a lots about the receipients but none about the donors...guess they want to remain anonymous but I want to know) I need to know before I make up my mind. Any ideas, anyone??

I dream of....Thomas Sabo

2007-02-15T17:49:00.000-08:00

I had a dream of Thomas Sabo last night...I found out about this products thur Isetan mail magazine. At first I did not really into it, but last 2 days things have been quiet at work. So I surf their website and I was hooked.

I went to KLCC yesterday after work, and ahhhhhh.......I want...I want...I want. I tried the one in the far left on me yesterday
and it looked good on me. I was so closed of buying that, in my head was telling me...no wait first but my heart was screaming...TAKE IT.....

Luckily or unfortunately depending on which side you look at, I decided to wait for Amli and asked for his opinion or rather ask him to buy for me. He came and as expected, he said he has to think first...ish..ish..ish...there goes my charms.

But if people out there for some reason want to buy me a pressie, now you know what to get me....my birthday is in JULY...

8 years of ups and downs

2007-02-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. We have been married for 8 years, was it all bed of roses?? Of course not. Our marriage like others full of ups and downs. Sometimes more ups and sometimes more downs but we survived.

We met while we were in Coventry University, I was in my first year while he was in his final year. The first time we met was at 3s'cook(I think). My good friend, Yatie introduced us since Yatie knows his sister(they were in the same class). My first comment about him was "he's cute", but at that time I was going out with someone else,and that was that.

Little did I know that he had his heart on me(cih...perasan nie), and he was very determined to get me, he came to our house all the time-he practically lived there, went to all the places with me and helped me settled down. When I had my heart broken, he was there to pick up the pieces and put it all back together. He was there to hold me while I cried and told me everything will be ok, and he is right. Everything is ok.

For the past 8 years we went thru so many things together. There were once that we practically have no money...no money at all even to buy fomulas for the kids. We had to literally search for money in the house, all the coins, all the money that we put in secret compartments were all used up. But we still together and our love grows stronger because of that.

Did we fight, of couse we did but we also had good laugh together. We are blessed with 3 wonderful kids that drive us crazy but they also bring us joy. I pray to Allah everyday to bless us, give us strength to face all the difficulties in our marriage and bring happiness to us.

Mahfuz, I may not say it all the times but I love you with all my hearts and thank you for always be there for me thru good and bad times. I love you....

Thank You for being you.

2007-02-09T18:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went out with my old best friend..well she is not old but we have been best friend like forever...the story how we became best friend was a funny one. My father and her mother was colleague, and they kept pastering us to become friends and we heard stories about each other even before we actually met one and another. Finally when we were 15 years old, we were in the same class and it like dream came true to our parents. Finally, we both in the same class and soon we both became friends and not long after than best friends. Once we became best friends it was very difficult to separate us. We were partner in crime, we cover each other more than we can count. There were once we both cut our tuition lesson just to watch Tommy Page,my mom dropped me at he tuition centre and after than I took bus and went to Centre Market to watch Tommy Page, can you beleive it..Tommy Page. I got caught and was grounded for one week.

She was always there for me, she was there during happy times and also during hard times. We sort of going our separate ways when I got married but we tried our best to make sure than we still be best friends no matter what. We were lucky that we still stay in the same area as before, and we chat to each other almost every day, so we still know what is going on with each other lives.

She is the type of friend that will not afraid to tell you the truth no matter what. And if you decided not to listen to her advice, she will stood by you, and when you got hurt she will lend her shoulder for you to cry on without those"I told you so"...well actually she will say that after a while and you will have a great laught about it.

So, Aida...thank you so much for your friendship, I don't think that I will survive those hard times if it was not for you. We had grand time together and I really pray that our friendship will last forever(sound corny but this is how I feel about us).

"Bugger Off..I'm special Kid" badge

2007-02-04T23:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish that I can buy a special badge to put on Adriana everytime we go out. You see from her physical features she seems normal, to me she is the most beautiful girl in the world(Prince's voice as a background)but I wish people would know about her conditions and stop making comment or give me the 'funny' look when she throws tantrum.

It happened to me again last week when she was warded due to HFM diseases( that's another story altogether), we went to A&E in one of the specialist hospital in KL, she was crying because of the pain and the looked that people in that room gave us was painful. They looked at you as if saying please could you please make you daughter stop crying. How can I do that? There is no communication from her, she can't speak, leave us alone!!! No compassionate from them at all.

Another incident was in another hospital, there was this mother, she was a nice mother very friendly, very chatty. She asked me How old is Adriana, I replied 2 1/2 years and she commented " still cannot talk?". I was like..No, and left her. I know there is nothing that I can do but I really wish I can buy that badge and put it on her. I guess people will be more sensitive if they know her conditions then again do I want their pity? huh...

But having Adriana teaches me to be more sensitive to people, nowadays when I meet new people, kids or adults I will commented on their good points rather than making comments about their lacking, I will find a good points and tell that to the parents. Before Adriana I was like that mother, asking people how old are their offsprings and then commented about their delay rather than their positive points. and I like who I am today, and having Adriana made me that. But still I want that badge...

What Clock??

2007-01-25T21:59:00.000-08:00

It was so funny, it was mean but it was funny. I work as in a place that offer English class for students to improve their English. It is a noble job but sometimes you just could not hlep laughing at people.

Yesterday, there was this young girl came and enquired about our services. I explained everything to her, told her about our classes, the procedures and told her that she has to come back the next day to register as registration only start that day. Told her about prices, and our payment time. She was happy and she left.

Few minutes later, she came back and asked me "What clock?". I was like "sorry?". She repeated again, "what clock"....huh??? Then it came to me what she meant was what time she can come and pay for her class. Tried very hard not to laught at her, I answered her quickly, and the moment that she stepped out from the office, I broke into laughter and could not stop. I know it was mean but it was so funny. Ahhhhhhhh.....

Hidden Treasure

2007-01-10T21:44:00.000-08:00

If you are using North-South Expressway southbound, do stop by at this place called Gua Semanggong. There is a nice place to refresh after a long drive. It is about 5-10km after Ipoh.

We found the place by accident, my father in law was in this trip that his tour bus stopped there. He found out that there is a cold nice stream that you can soak in. The water is freah and cooling. My kids love it there, especially Adriana. The good thing about this is place is that it is hidden from the public and the it kindda of private place. One family at a time. It is kindda of unspoken rules, when one family is in the stream, other will wait for their turn and usually you only be there max of 45 mins. Which is a good enough time for us.

People says that pictures worth a thousands wors..so I let the photos that I took tell you the story

Family Affair

2006-12-21T20:57:00.000-08:00

I seldom talk about my family as in my parents here. This is because I do not have the kind of relationship that I'm proud of with my parents. My parents are so much different from other parents and also from each other.

My father is a quiet and serious man, but he is also the pillar of our family. Everyone will look for him if something came up in the family. I always have a nice memories about my Abah, he always there for us. He seldom says his love for you but hos action will tell you that he loves you. My Abah still send me to work now eventho I myself a mother of 3.

My mother is a totally different character all together. She is a very strong woman who likes people to listen to her. She always right and even when she is wrong she is right. Imagine growing up in the household that have that kind of mother. We don't usually get a word of encouragement from her but words of condemn. She is strong minded woman, and you must listen to her. If not she will nag you from morning until night. Oh, yes, she can do that. When we were small, once she starts nagging, we went to our room and stay there forever. We even willing to skip food to avoid bunping into her.

I seldom talk to my mom, in fact I can stay in the same room with her without saying a word and this can go on for days. Whatever information that she get aboout me are from earvesdrooping my conversation over the phones or when my aunties came and they started asking me questions about myself. In fact she never knew when I got my first period, or when I had my heart broken, when I fell in love for the first time and she never knew and never ask what happened to the guy that I bought home last summer 95, and why the next next year I bought home a totally different guy. That is my relationship with my mother. We do not talk,and I'm fine with this.

You see, when I was ill, it was my father who stayed with me in the middle of the night. It was my father who went round KL looking for medicine for my illness, it was always my father. Never my mother. And because of her strong character, my husband cannot take this. Me, I get used to her critism, but not my husband. So many times that this has caused an arguments between us. You see, when my mother is in her bad mood and when she nag and critise us. I just kept quite and totally switched off my hearing mode, while my husband will take it into his heart and than sulk and give a bad times to all of us.

But whatever it is, she is my mother, and I love her in unconditionally and I'm sure she must loves me in her funny way too, same goes with my father, he loves me I'm sure even he never says anything. My parents have a funny ways of showing their love to us which we do not mind at all, after all we have been their kids for over 30 odd years but to my husband he cannnot take this, he finds this all funny and he does not like this. Like I said they are my parents and that is that. That's why pls people says that wehn you get married, you are not only marrying that person but also the whole family, so you just have to accept them the way they are.

Problems

2006-12-07T16:23:00.000-08:00

I've been having trouble with my blogs lately, all of these started after I changed my blog to the beta whatever they called it. You know, now that you have an option to transfer or export your normal blog to the google thingy. I did just that 2 weeks ago, and I been having problem ever since that. I cannot put any slides in my blog, it just not there, and forget about the videos. I tried to upload it so many times yesterday until I gave up. I will try it again later(if I have a time)

And even worse, I cannot post any comment to other blogs that are still using the old blog format. It frustrated me, I do not want people to feel like I stop reading their blogs, so I email them and let then know. Sedih tau...

So, if people out there have any ideas on how to rectified this problem, please do let me know because I'm dying to uploas Tasya's graduation photos and the videos.

Spooky

2006-11-15T17:57:00.000-08:00

Last Ramadhan, I went for the Weight with Fortune machine at Alpha Angle, Wangsa Maju. At that time, I was more concern about my weight rather than my 'fortune'. I got the slip with my weight on it which I will never reveal the numbers here, and at the back of it was my fortune. It written " Love of justice and truth; you will defend the weak against oppression and tyranny". At that time I just laught it off and just put in inside my coin purse.

Yesterday, while searching for small change to pay for my lunch. I found this piece of paper and suddenly it hit me. Those words suddenly fit me so well. Last week, I had a 'friendly' email war with my boss, and it got carried away until the big boss found about this. You see, we(me and my colleagues)had a hard time with our boss(we shall after this call this particular individual LM). LM came to our office almost a year ago, at first we gave LM our benefit of the doubt, but as time goes by, LM really irritate us and clearly LM was not the right person to be our manager. LM do not care about us, never once LM came down to see us and ask us how is things with us. LM even let us work alone for 8 hours without a break for 2 days in a row. We could not take it anymore.

So, last week, I wrote LM an email and cc the big boss(BB). BB was so concerned and called for a meeting. LM was not happy, and in the meeting BB put LM in a spot and LM has to help us covering the counter when we are short of staff. After that, whatever happen at our department, BB will ask LM about it and LM have to know and have to come out will solution(mostly stupid solution but heh at least LM has to do it.) From that day onwards also BB watches LM like a hawk, every step that LM takes, BB wants to know. Make LM hates me more and I become the voice of my colleagues. Like the fortune teller predicts " I am the love of justice and I hate it when people play tyrant on us".

How spooky is that? I know as a muslim we cannot believe in all that but still....(Twllight Zone music as a background!!!)

Showing off time

2006-11-13T17:57:00.000-08:00

Like I said in my previous entry that I like showing off all my kids. So this is the showing off time where I will put all their pictures for you all my faithful readers to see how bergaya are my kids.(future supremodels tu!!)

Action & Reaction....

2006-11-12T21:28:00.000-08:00

I wrote my last entry to voice out my feeling towards my current situation regarding my darling Adriana. Little that I know by doing that I have hurt or cause a reaction amongst my faithhful readers(ceh..macam ramai yang baca!!)

Being a normal human being, sometimes I feel sad looking at Adriana, there were times that I cried just by looking at her. She was so perfect to me and yet she was not to the rest of the world. I'm worried about her future and either she can survive in this world or not. Knowing that in this world today, people are looking for perfection and those who are not have no place in this world.

For my friends out there that have kid(s), you are entitled to show them off, that is your right as a parents. Believe me I know, I have 2 other kids that I love showing them off. It's just that being a sensitive person that I am, sometimes I feel that the world is against me and I feel like this is a sign for me that I failed as a mother, again I know that this is not the case but like I said being a normal human being, sometimes this is how I feel. However, I'm not proud of this feeling, when a very adorable kids do somethings that are cute I wanted to be happy-most of the I was happy, only certian times that I feel miserable when this happens. Especially when the parents are being so insensitive about Adriana's condition, ada yang siap tanya "Adriana tak boleh cakap lagi ke?" Nie yang nak kena "daboosh" nie.

Generally I love kids, I adore kids either their are mine or somebody elses, and I'm proud of their achievements, so for my friends that have kid(s) please feel free to show off your kids, I would love to see that, what I feel inside is only my reaction at that time. It does not reflect how I feel generally. Don't lah after this, do not want me to see you kids anymore, I love to see them and I love hugging them especially A*n*l that have a very nice body to hug.

Every little things

2006-11-09T16:47:00.000-08:00

Last night while brushing Adriana's teeth, I noticed that she pulled her tongue out, this is a rare occasion and it got me thinking all the little things that she did not do as a baby. As a baby, she doesn't like doing the babbling thing, you know with her mouth, she did not pulled her tongue out like most baby do. She did not blew resbarries when she was a baby. All the things that baby supposed and love to do. At that time, I thought all of them are normal, little that I knew that all of that are important to the growth of my baby. All of these activities are important excercise for her motor skills, which then lead to her speaking ability.

How can I missed the important things in her life? Maybe because I'm being a very typical mother, not extra-ordinary mother. I assume that everything is fine with Adriana, and people keep telling me that each baby develop in their own time, so no need to worry. Sometimes I wish that I was a worrier, then I will be able to do more even when the doctor told me not to worry, she will be fine. I will insisted on them checking her, poking her but then agian do I really want her to went thur all that? I cried when she was in ICU and when the doctors did all the test to her. I tried very hard not to cry when she went thru her MRI, but I bled in my heart seeing her went thru that. She is my angel, and she is special and I accept that but sometimes I wish that I can do more for her. I wish that I can protect her all the times.

It hurts when other kids who are younger than her can do more, it's hurt when the proud parents kinnda of showing off their kids' talents and I have to being a great sport and participate in that while my angel who is 21/2 years cannot even point out her body parts let alone call me Mama. It hurts so bad, and that make me missed all the little things that she supposed to be able to do, like salam you, hi-5 you, waving goodbye, stucking put her tongue at you, blew resberries at you, all those things.

But she is a survivor and her determination was strong. Lately she teach herself how to get down from the stairs standing up as opposite of crawl down the stairs. As she managed to do that, and we are all so proud of her. She is my angle and I love her so much.

My Raya this year

2006-10-30T18:50:00.000-08:00

I celebrated raya this year in KL. In fact, before I was married I always celebrated raya in KL. To me raya in KL is the best, people outside KL said raya in KL suck but to me it was heaven. There are few reasons why I like raya in KL, 1st most of my relatives are here, so we always spend first day of raya going around their houses from morning until night time. And the 2nd reason is that during this time KL will be 'lengang'(or empty and quiet)but not this year. I do not know why there were still lots of people in KL-long gone you can cruise around KL in less than 10 mins, there were still traffic when we went to Damansara Height via the Jalan Pahang. It was heartbreaking for me at least.

I still remember when I was small-raya in KL meaning that you are amongs a few wearing baju kurung and baju melayu. It was fun when you stopped at petrol station, ot 7 eleven or paying for the toll. But this year, raya was no different from any other days. Tak best betul, I really miss my raya when all around your houses are dark, and you can literally lari kat supermarket. All the public transport macam hak milik kekal kita jea. But I guess that moments are long gone. I have to accept the fact that more and more people consider KL as their hometown, therefore they still be here during raya and other public holidays. Like I said I miss my raya but I guess raya is raya no matter where you are, either it is in KL or in Alor Setar( but I guess AS is more crowded than KL when it comes to raya season)

But, if I have a chouce I want my KL raya the way it used to be 10 years ago.....

What a day......

2006-10-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

Today is definitely not my days when it comes to customers,and it's not even full day.

First incident: This morning I had this caller, a mother who claimed that we did not call her sons for classes eventhough they did the placement test in March 2006. Upon checking our system, I found out there are no results for her sons. I enquired from her either after the test she came and see us or not. Then, she told me that she left her kids here to do the test and picked them up afterward( and I thought I was a bad mother-at least if my kids ada test or exam I will stay and wait for them-apparently she had an important meeting that day!!!), and she went on saying that we should let the kids know about this, as her kids are still small. Again, upon checking their record found out that her sons are 13 and 11 years respectively!!! La ingatkan 7 and 8 ke or 9 and 10 ke...She went on about how we should thell her kids which I replied, we do, the teachers will tell the kids after advising them-asking them to ask their parents to see one of us but since she is not here kan-howlah her kids to tell her. I bet when she picked them up, she just waited for them outside.But cannot tell this to her right? So, I asked her either her sons still have the form which she replied that she do not know. Fine, tell I asked her to ask her sons if they can remember what level they were recomended and then she can call me back. Then she said NOOOOOOO, I would not call you because it is such a hassle to call BC, etc,etc, etc. Then I asked her do you want me to call you also she said NO(haiya-no way to please this woman lah!!!). Then I gave her my direct number and asked her to leave message if I'm busy when she called. Then she went on about how dissapointed she is with how BC works, we took her money but we did not give her places for her son. I told her before she paid the placement test fee, we at the counter ALWAYS and when I said ALWAYS I meant ALWAYS tell them that places are not guaranteed so do they still want to pay for it. Then she went on pulak pasal the fee, she said she paid more I told her that the fee is the same-she said NO, she paid more-memanglag anak kau 2 orang BODOH!!! Then she said "Wait, let me check my receipt"-Lepas tu diam-huh..padan muka. Aku betul kau salah!!!! Then she said that she will call me back tomorrow. Can't wait for her call.

Next, I had this gentleman( I'm guessing here working as a international student officer for one of private college here in KL) came with one of his student. The student sat for placement test and the result showed that he can go for exam preparation class. I explained this to the gentleman but he got annoyed because my explanation apparently was not up to his standard. The thing is he has not got a clue about either the exam or the classes tapi berlagak pandai just because he knew the longest serving member of BC. Then, he started raising his voice asking to see somebody else apart from me. Told him that I am in charge here, and he has to see me and nobody else. He then made a sacastic remark saying that he could not believe that this is how BC operates, told him well believe it!!! Then he name dropping konon nak takutkan I lah..Sorrylah, tak takutlah. I siap cakap kat dia sapa nama manager I lagi. I even offered to call my manager down-tak nak pulak dia. Then, I cool off and asked him what actually he was looking for. Only then, he told me....bodohlah cakap lah awal-awal!! Eh....2 stupid customers in one day!!! eh, silap ada lagi. So, back to this customer, after that he was nice to me!!! hah..tahu pun yang kau tu yang ngok bukan aku!!!

My last customer of the day was an middle eastern student who came with his brother who kept telling me that he came form New Zealand( pedulik apa aku!!)and he wants to bring his brother to NZ but in order for him to do that, his brother must have an adequate English language skills. Oklah, did the test lepas tu dapat beginner level-which we do not have the level. Again, the brother kept tellin me "please sister, help me-I want to bring my brother to NZ, you know I'm from NZ, blah..blah..blah" Told him there is no classes. Do not want to listen to me asking me ada tak mat saleh yang dia boleh jumpa. Fine, I called one of the teacher to come down and explain the same thing to him. Lepas tu cikgu tu sudah bosan dengar cerita pasal NZ agreed to move the student up 1 level. Yang tension tu after all the hassle-tak pulak register!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Those are the reasons I really want to get out from here!!!!! Nasib baiklah the gang here are the best bunch ever, kalau tak boleh gila tau!!!!

I like....

2006-10-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

Did I tell you that I did not get the job?? Well, I did not get the job, they send me a letter to tell me that. And the funny thing is that I was not dissapointed at all. I read the letter and then well.... It really hit me that I did not feel sad that I did not get the job when I thought I did very well in the interview. It kindda bother me then it get me to think why I reacted that way.

I think it is because if I want to move on I want to do something else, something totally different from what I am doing now. If I were to do the same thing, I rather be here. I know the system, I know how to play the office politics here, I have a very nice colleagues who I can call friends. I like it here.

In my life, I do not have much friends as I like, I tend to lose friends as I moved on. I still keep in touch some of my friends from school but I do not call them close friends, I have few that I am close with but only few and I always believe that we should make more friends. I used to be very close to my colleagues from my previous company but with the work pressure and time limit, I did not keep in touch with them as often that I wanted to and over time, the friendships kind of slip away from me. I do not want that to happen with my friends over here, because I like them very much. We are not only close in the office but we are close outside from it too. They know my kids, and my kids know them too. I know their family, their dogs what the dogs like and dislike and I like that kind of friendships and if possible I want it to last and maybe that is why I am so glad that I did not get that job. I like it here...........

Alamak, macamana mau jawab???

2006-10-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

Last Monday after buka puasa, amli went to surau for terawikh prayer and the rest of us were watching TV when suddenly Tasya asked me a million dollar question. "mama, sex tu apa?" I was so stumped, I could not think straight, then I replied"tanya Ayah"-that is the only answer that I can think of. When I told Amli this the next day, he said why I did not say that sex is the gender as in male and female. Well, at that time I could not think of anything, in my mind it was SEX as in SEX( you know what I mean??) How can I explain to my 6 years old, ever so innocent daughter about SEX as in SEX.

This however keep me thinking, and googling and searching about this. But nothing worth reading is coming up, pasal sex slave adalah or pasal someone sex lifes!! Haiya, anyone out there that can help me? I am so hopeless at this, I did not take biology when I was at school(tak cukup pandai to take pure science) and believe it or not I only knew about sex, really knew about it when I was about 15 years old, thanks to Jackie Collins and her hollywood series!!!

My mother never told me about this, if I have a burning questions I either asked my elder sister or my friends(I'm so glad that I have a good type of friends-kalau tak entah apa aku jadik sekarang). Worst case I learned from so called romantic novels M&B lah, apa lagi tak yang seangkatan dengannya!!! Tu yang dapat pink nip**les tu!! Bila tengok mine tak pun!!! Tipu...

Seriously, I need to equipt myself with this knowledge, I do not want my children to find out sex the way that I did-what if their friends are not as nice as mine, who told them to experiment it rather than tell them.. Habislah..or what if they get the wrong literature on this, you know how easy these days to get pron magazines and CDs. I dread thinking about this but I guess I have to face the music sooner or later, so that the next time she ask me what is sex or where babies come from I will be able to answer her and maybe give her an accurate information.Silap-silap belajar bio anak aku haritu!!!

You Raise Me Up

2006-09-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was Tasya concert. She has to be at the concert hall by 8am. We decided to leave Adik at my parents's place since Adik will get restless during the concert like she did 2 years ago. We arrived at the hall at 8am, send Tasya to her teachers, while the rest of us decided to have a hot drink while waiting for time to get into the hall. This year we decided to get there earlier than last year since for the past 2 years we only managed to get to he back of the hall eventhough we arrived there on time.

At 9am, we decided to go to the hall-already there were people waiting at the door, at about 9.15 there were almost 100 parents waiting in a very small spaces with little ventilation. You can imagine the raising heat of the people there. There were some parents who complained, saying out loud like why can't the teachers let us in. We will not disturb the stage, etc, etc. I was like "hello...they asked you to come at 10-you are early-so waitlah"-I was saying this inside my heartlah. I can totally understand the teachers, why they did not open the door earlier-knowing all these parents-they think just because they send their kids there, the teachers must listen to them. There were this couple behind me, the wife was so rude-saying all the bad things about the teachers, she even asked her husband to bang the door so that the teachers inside will open the door. The husband could not be bothered to entertain her. Finally she herself went to the door and with all of us watching in disbelief-she bangon the door as loudly as she could. Come on lah. Everday during my working time, I was on the other side, I really hate it when people come early then ketuk-ketuk pintu nak masuk cepat. I purposely will ignore them.

There were 15 classes, and Tasya class was the 11 class to perform. Her class's theme was hip hop music. If I'm not mistaken the song was JLo song. Overall this year concert was very enjoyable. I know lots of song that I can sing along with Azrai. There were song from Lizzie Mcguire movie, of course from High School Musical, and also song from VE.

At the end of the concert, all kids sang this song "you raise me up'-dedicated especailly to the parents. We were encouraged to sing along with them. This is the first time that I'm actually listen to the words and I was so closed to tears when the kids sang that song. They were singing this song to all their mummies and daddies but to me my kids raise me up. They are the reasons for whatever I did, I will make sure that they are happy, they have enough love from both of us. Sometimes I think that I spoilt all my kids,I cannot hear them cry, I will try to fulfill their needs, I love my kids so very much. When I sing that song I sang it for my kids. Do you know that we did not have a proper bed? For the past 2 years we slept on a comforter set? Every time we want to buy a proper bed some thing can up that we have to use the cash for more important things for the kids. And the bed is also free bed courtesy of Mark Augustine(one of the teacher at my centre, nak balik kampung so want to get rid of his bed)

To me my kids are the wind beneath my wings......

You Raise me Up-Josh Groban
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up...to more than I can be

(Music plays for 30 seconds)

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up...to more than I can be

(Choir comes in background as music comes in hard)

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up...to more than I can be

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up...to more than I can be

You raise me up...to more than I can be

Not an IT illiterate afer all

2006-09-17T19:44:00.001-07:00

I was never good at IT, I can do all the basis ones like Microsoft office applications but never beyond that. So, it was a big step for me doing this blog thingy. I can never understand the language of computer, HTML lah, C++ lah....never understand it. I'm sure you know this just by looking at my blogs right, the basis ever.

I do have the desire to learn more about IT or computing,it's just that I do not have the patience to actually doing it. And somemore all the computer language..alamak speak in Englishlah. However, if you look at my other blog, the one that I dedicated to my kids, you will see that I have add a new feature in that blog. I have added the age meter or whatever you call it all by myself!!!! I'm kinnda proud of it actually. Don't ask how long it took me but at least something huh??

Now, I want to add a link to this blog...see if I can do it without any help from my dear friend-yatie(who taught me how to do the link for my other blog-see if I can remembered how to do it!!!)

Life is a journey, not the destination

2006-09-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

Someone send me this poem, title 'the station' few years ago, at that time I deleted the email-without realizing the impact the poem will give me later in life. The poem is about the one person journey in life where the writer missed all the wonderful things that he encounter on his way to the station. When he reached there, only then he realized that he is supposed to enjoy the journey and there is nothing waiting for him at the station.

I only remembered back this poem after watching 'Click'(Adam Sandler) last week. This movie is sort of a wake up call for me. I keep having this question inside my head, is it worth it, the life that we are living now. We are always rushing in life-we forget to stop and smell the roses!! It has become increasingly hard for us to have a work life balance, the employer expects you to work 24/7 for them. They don't really give a damn about your family-if your salary is 4K, they expect you to work double the amount. How many of you have to stay back after 5pm just because this is what the boss expect from you eventhough your heart is screaming wanting to go back to your much neglected family?? But can we actually afford the work life balance??

I have been wanting to quit my job since I gave birth to my first child, and it has been 6 years since that, still here I am working my a** off. Everytime I wanted to just do it, somethings keep playing in my mind-can we actually afford it if I quit my job?? That is the catch, life here in KL is so damn expensive that both of us have to work just to make ends meet. Maybe we can just leave KL and move to another state. I kindda like Terengganu actually, do you know that there is no shopping mall in KT??? Another place that I like is Alor Setar. Both places are much cheaper than KL, but do we dare to have such a drastic changes? Leaving all the things that we like and familiar with?? I like to go to shopping malls, can I leave in KT without the shopping malls? And if I choose Kedah, sometimes I could not really understnd their dialect, can I live there too??

It's realy hard when it comes to this decision right?? You want to spend more time with your family but if this means that you have to struggle financially, are you willing to take the risk??

So, how can we take it easy, and really enjoy the journey when you are caught in this mad rat race...the faster you ran, the more you need to catch it...and what is IT??? I really want to enjoy the journey and I'm afraid that I will regret it when I reach at the station nothing is there for me.

No News....yet

2006-09-12T02:35:00.000-07:00

They said they will tell me this week either I will get the job or not. Today is Tuesady, still no news from them. Some people says that no news is a good news, is it so?? I'm so want to get out from this place, sometimes I feel so suffocate here. I cannot breathe, is this bad? I guess so. I guess after 4 years of doing exactly the same things do get into you.

I need a break from all of this, the rat race,with the same routine all over again, please lah help me!!!

Interview ? Test ? Part 2

2006-09-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

Well, went for the test yesterday. Luckily it was computer based exam, so have spelling check!! At least 1 problem less.

It has 3 questions, the first time I saw the questions, macam nak nangis!!! My first thought was "how to answer this questions!!". After awhile looking at the question paper, oklah..I can answer this.

The first Q was answering an email regarding the product. I was like dielah, how can I remember all the product details....I was like cursing myself, why I did not bring the print out about their company. I did during the interview. Then suddenly I remembered I did have it in my bag!!. Jeng!Jeng!, they never say anything about open book exam-so apa lagi...took the print out and the process of copy paste began!!! That's what I did at the beginning anyway, after that I had my doubt-what if they want to test my creativity, so like what I always did during the Uni year, change the wordslah, from passive to active phrases-biasalah.

Question no 2, they gave you bunch of numbers and ask you to do whatever you want with that numbers, as in translate the numbers to readable data. I was like....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...macamana nie?? I left the question 2 first, went to answer Q3.

Q3 is the scenario Q. They gave you a customer service situation and you have to tell them how you will solve the problem. This part...bantai part.

Then went back to Q2, suddenly I remembered that I had calculator inside my bag, apalagi aku pun buatlah mathematic kat situ!!! I'm not sure either the calculations are right or wrong-tapi pedulik apa!!!

Finally the 45 mins were up, passed the answer paper, and pray to Allah that everything will be alright. If HE says that this is where my rezeki is, I will get the job but if HE says that BC is where I belong..so be it.

Interview ? Test ?

2006-09-07T03:18:00.000-07:00

I attended a job interview last Tuesday, after almost 4 years of not attending any job interview it's really give me a panic attack. I really do not know what to do or what to say in the interview.(compared to my other half, who attend job interview on a very regular basis...say once in every 6 months!!)

The job that I applied is the same job that I'm doing now just different company from British to American( can guess huh?). During the interview, they gave me the JD and when I looked at it, alamak-sama lah. They(BTW there a 4 of them and 1 of me)asked me do you have any questions with the JD, told them no since this is exactly when I'm doing now( kerek tak?). They asked lots of questions, I keletong all the time but I asked questions too. Just so that I look intelligent, the Qs that they asked are all in the days work while the questions that I asked are all about how well you treat your staff. Have to show also that I am not desperate for the job just looking for a better opportunity.

Honestly I really do not know how I performed in the interview. I guess I did well but you never knew right? All of my colleagues are confident that I nailed them but I have my doubt. So, it was quite a surprised when they called me yesterday morning saying that they want me to do a written test. I was alamak..test ka? Know when the last time I did any test....ahhhhhhhh????? like 10 years ago. Matilah. I was so nervous, really takut nak pergi. Told my colleagues at work, all of them are very encouraging, so by hook or by crook I'm going to this test today at 3.30pm. So people wish me luck..lots of luck because I'm so gonna need it.

Arrogant, Idiotic woman

2006-09-07T03:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at about 5pm, my colleague passsed me a fax from one of our corporate company regarding one of her staff. It was a very unpleasant letter complaining about out phone system.

I tried to call her yesterday itself but she was not available, tried calling her again this morning also unavailable. Then I left a message to her colleague asking her to return my call. I gave her my direct number(I seldom do this because then they will start bugging me)

She called me but at that time I was with a customer, so as soon as I'm done with my customer, I called her back. The moment she know that I was on the other line, she started bombarded me with all her complaints, saying that we have a stupid phone system, she kept talking to a machine and she is not happy with us etc,etc,etc. All this time I kept apologizing to her, still she went on and on and on about how she is not happy. Then I told her next time you can call my direct number but I'm telling you now if I'm with a customer I will not pick up my call, just leave a message and I will get back to you ASAP. You can guess her answer right, NOOOOOOO she does not want to speak to machine. Well, guess what, I also do not want to speak to you!!! Idiot woman. She is working with a company that handle ZARA( you know the shop that selling clothes). Really feel like going there and teach her a thing or two about manners!!!

I was really mad after talking to her, luckily Iren lend me her stress ball. Still I don't think that I deserved her stupid treatment. What to do, it's all comes with the job.

Salute to a very special mother

2006-09-01T20:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a lunch date with a very good friend of mine. I met her when I was studying for my A-levels in UK. Our first encounter was a bit off, I was supposed to wait for her to go to our school together but I forgot about it and left her in London!!(luckily she was not alone)

After a while, we become close, we had so much common interest that we can talk to eadch other the whole day without realizing the time. During our first year, we were not in the same room but we always find way for us to meet up either intentionally or accidentally. There were one day that we met in the kitchen and end up talking until hours...our excuse was that we were taking a break from our studies( yeah...right!!) Both of us are so crazy about movies, we can watched movies the whole days!!! There one day that we were cinema hopping, from one screen to another!! THE WHOLE DAY!!!! We started from the first show at about 10am and our last show was about at 5pm. We managed to watch if I'm not mistaken 3 movies in one day!! Those were the days!

We kindda went our own way after the Uni days. Maybe due to our piority in life, we did try to call each other and email each other just to say hi and how are you. Both of us now a wife and a mother, while I was like a regular mother but she is a very special mother.

Both of us are blessed with a very special kids, yesterday watching her with her wonderful and beautiful daughter, I realized that I could never be like her. She was so patient, and so wonderful to her daughter. If I were her, I will like screaming and scolding my kids. She went a lot for her daughter, what she went thru made me realized that what I went thru with Adriana were nothing compared to her.

I learned a lots during our short encountered. Her patience, her skills on handling her daughter, and at the same she still the person she used to be. She still the warm person that she used to be, funny, helpful, generous and she is so good with her hand(menjahit-jahitlah). She did one of my dresses it was so beautiful and nicley done that I kept showing it to all my friends and relatives!! Now they want to do the same thing too( eh, can i get commision on this??)

She is a wonderful person and I'm so glad that I know her.

Keith who?

2006-08-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

You'll Think Of Me"

I woke up early this morning around 4 a.m.
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
And ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's ok, there's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been,
or what we should have been, so...

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
But don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you, and on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
but you’ll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me oh yeah
Ohh someday baby, someday
Ooohh…

Lately I've been hearing this song almost all the time. I had this song on my head last night, this morning and when I swithched the radio-there it was 'the' song. Before this I was not aware of Keith Urban at all.

I only know who he is after he become Mr Nicole Kidman. So, this morning I googled him and OMG, he has lots of songs under his name and it's amazing that I knew nothing about him before this. I guess this happened after you left your adolencense years. You feel like music means nothing to you, especially new type of music. You hang on to you kind of music, or the singer that you are familiar with. Ask me anything about Bon Jovi and I can tell you about them. How many kids Jon have(4), Is Richie still with Heather(No), but ask me who is 50 cents? 50 who?? My only update to the latest in music either from my daughter or from Akademi FAntasia( that's whay I like this programme!!!)

I don't watch MTV and VH1 except for 'the year it was' and sometimes Double shot if they shows the 80s' and 90s', this shows how much I have aged!! I guess you can always tell the person age according to their taste in music( this however does not apply to my dear husband who taste in music like someone from age stone ok??-who listen to Hetty Koes endang, anyway??)Personally I think most of the new songs are cater for younger people, they do not make songs like they use to do, well may be some of it anyway but after listening to Keith, I realized that they are few singers that produced nice songs, like Maroon 5, Keith Urban, and I kinnda like Avril Lavigne and lately I have been listening to songs by Kelly CLarkson(because Tasya likes her)

I like this song because it is a nice song, nothing to do about my feeling, so people do not get me wrong, ok.(you know who you are). This is the song that I can listen to. Maybe after this I will watch MTV or VH1 once awhile to keep me updated on the latest music scene, so that the next time people ask me about 50 cents, not only I know who he is, I can even sing or rap or hip-hop his sings!!!! heh!heh! like hat actually going to happen!!!!

False Accusations

2006-08-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

Last night someone very close and dear to me made an false accusation at me. I was shocked and hurt at the same time. And the funny thing is that the accusation came out from nowhere. This person did not give me any clue that it was coming.

Earlier everything was ok, we even joked with each other, having a normal conversation about life and family. Then after dinner while watching TV, he casually made that accusation!!! I was shocked and speechless. What hurt me the most was not the accusation itself but by making that he implied that he does not know me at all. After all the years that we been together and what we went thru, he should know me better than even thinking about that let alone saying it outloud.

I was pissed off but knowing him well, he will not listen to any of my explanations and even when I asked him why he said those thing. He just kept quiet and started saying something rubbish about how he think I felt. That the most painful part, he just assumed the worse of me, does not all my sacrifices toward him count at all?? Have I complained to him about our life(part from my work-which does not count here), have I even demanded things that I know we cannot afford?, Have I ever?? I think all this while I have been a very good person to him. Well, maybe I was wrong. Maybe to him it still not enough, maybe I have to do more to prove that I am actullay worth it to have in his life. Maybe.....

But one thing for sure, this is not the first time he did this to me and I'm sure this is not the last time either. Even if it is, the damage have been done. I can forgive but it's hard for me to forget the accusation that he threw at me.

Have some respect

2006-08-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

I been working in my current position for almost 4 years now. At first it was shocking to see how malaysian treat another malaysian-regardless of races and ages. My position here-officially is Customer Relation Executive, unofficially I was receptionist. Basically what I do was explainig to the customers about our services, then collect money if they want to register for the class. I also have to deal with parents from our Young Learners classes.

The way Malaysian treat us was so shocking that I feel ashamed to call myself Malaysian. They treat us(me and my colleague) with no respect whatsoever!!! They threw money and their credit card at you, they treat you like you are nobody. Do you know how sad it is when people threw money at you?? You are respectable and educated human being and yet people can treat you like that. The most dissapointing part is because I'm working in customer service part-I do not have the right to tell them off. Sometimes I was so close of throwing back their card at them and ask them get off, and don't bother coming back!!! Unfortunately-wish only!!!

Sometimes, you will get those students who have to RESIT their exam came to you with the stupid slang and talk to you like you are stupid or something. They will come and say thing like "I'm here to take my BRITISH UNIVERSITY EXAM" Usually what I did was asking them back, "which exam are you taking", then they will say that they took the exam at their Uni now thay have to take it again. This is my moment of glory-sometimes I will ask them in a nice sarcastic way, do they have to resit their exam?? Sometimes, I was so close of telling them that I also played a lots during my Uni time but I don't have to resit any of my exams!!! And some more with the stupid slang!!!! Choi lah....

Seriously, most Malaysian that I met here in my office have no respect to other fellow mankind. They think with their paltinum card and their stupid british slang their can treat others with no respect. Pleaselah have some respect to others regardless of who they are. Every man in this world deserves a respect from anothers. It really hit me hard on how people treat others, I think all the problems in the world can be solve if people treat others with respect.

Please lah, enough already

2006-08-19T02:00:00.000-07:00

Found this while blog surfing

http://www.techblogy.com/kelvinlovesirenetan/a-letter-to-siti-nurhaliza-rayuan-demi-peri-kemanusiaan/

this really sum up what I felt about 'wedding of the year'. What really bothered me was the statements that came out from the bride and the groom. " kita buat sederhana sahaja"...hello, if you spend RM50K for one baju, then the whole thing is about RM500k-sederhana apa tu???

Please lah, there are hungry people outhere, there are war going on from the other side of the world. Be a bit sensitive, can or not??

Tolonglah.....

Love ends when marriage starts

2006-08-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

Is this true? I was listening to Sinar FM sometimes ago( don't ask, my husband listen to it, HO, you have a new fan!)One caller call in and they were talking about(well, I can't remember what topic). The DJ asked him are you in love, then the caller replied, no, I'm married. Then HO said more reason for you to be in love which the caller replied, love ends when marriage begins. I was laughing at first but then it kindda sunk in. It does sound kinnda true. Most married people will stop doing what they did as a couple when they get married. And this leads to them being bored to each other,believe me I know. I've been married for 7 years remember?

Very seldom that we have a chance to go out for dinner just the two of us, or go on a date for that matter, and I know there are people after married who stop doing that all together. I know this is not healthty but sometimes they don't have a choice. Once they have kids, works and other responsibilities, you don't have time to pamper your husband/wife. You start to take them for granted and this is when the loving stops.

I don't want this to happen to my marriage eventhough my feeling towards my husband has changed 360 degree from our courting time but I still made an effort to make our marriage works. I still love him but this time the love is a different kind of love. My love for him has changed from "can't get my hands off you" love to "Thank you for taking out the gabbage" kind of love.

Maybe the caller is right, love stops when marriage begins but may be we can love our partner differently or we made an effort to make sure that we still love each other no matter what then we can say that love does not stop when marriage begins but it grows as time goes by. That would be better right?

Dream a little dream....

2006-08-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

Dream A Little dream- Beautiful South

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper I love you
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading, but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading, but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries far behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams - our worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams

this is the song by Beautiful south and was featured in the movie 'French Kiss' starring Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline-nice romantic movie.

But I'm not going to talk about the movie(eventhough the movie had a very special meaning in my life, ahhhh...power of love!!)I'm talking about dreams, how many of us still dreams, any dreams. I do. I keep dreaming of a better life, having a successful career, happy family, beautiful kids(I think this dream has comes true). At first it was quite difficult for me to start dreaming again after all my dreams have been squashed by reality of life!! But then somewhere in 2002, we joined this business called OT(kindda MLM, in this business they believe in power of dream. In fact the first question that they asked you was what are your dreams?? At first I was clueless, what are my dreams?? I dreamt a lots when I was young but like i said before it was squased by life it self. Then I started dreaming again, dreaming about what I wanted to be. This gives me hope, makes me strive harder for everything that I did.

Why it is hard for us to dream?? And the funny thing is dreams are free my freinds, they are free and yet many of us are afraid of dreaming. You can dream but janganlah macam Mat Jenin. We must have a dream to make this world goes round. Without dream, there will be no Disneyland, no Playhouse Dsiney(imagine my kids without playhouse Disney)

So, my friends I'm in a dreamy mood today...dreaming of what life would be if I stop working, if my husband can give me RM10k only for my expenses, having the luxury of doing anything that I want to do like going back NOW.................

Sediakan payung sebelum hujan

2006-08-16T03:31:00.000-07:00

How true...how very true. This happens to me today- my father asked me to take an umbrella before I off to work, but I'm too malas to take it plus the umbrella that I took earlier was not working!!! Arrived at KLCC-it was raining heavily-there is no way I'm gonna walk in that rain. Called office said that I will be a little bit late,went around KLCC-looked at the watch-alamak 12 noon already, looked outside still raining. What choice to I have?? I had to buy an umbrella!!! Cost me RM10.00, this umbrella will never leave my bag. Niver want the same thing to happened again. This buying an umbrella thingy had started the urge of shopping in me.

Went to Body Shop, looked around. Saw the hair brush that I desperately needed, looked again, then suddenly remembered that I have to buy a new lisptick. So, left BS after spending RM93.00!!! My husband so gonna kill me but those things are needed, not wanted. As an ex economics student, I really have to satisfied my need, right?? Needs are not wants!!!

I guess after spending almost 2 weeks with the 'shopoholics' series, I have becoming one-well close anyway. But it was a great feeling actually, shopping theraphy. Wish I can do it everyday. Went to work feeling happy, everybody benefit from this-especially my customers. Luckily for my first customer who I spent time for more than 30 minutes then decided not to pay for her exam, nasib baik I'm not on commision kalau tak tarak untung!!!!

Ahhhhh.............next time people, sediakan payung sebelum hujan!!!!!

Term of endearment

2006-08-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

This came to mind last night as I was about to sleep. I was felling rather sick last night-told my dear husband that I think that I have a slight fever-hoping for a bit of sympathy but what do I get-NOTHING. He fell a sleep right away. Then it got me thinking(funny what is in your mind when you are feeling sick)

We do not have any term of endearment, I mean some of you call each other -Abang, Adik, some of you Abang, sayang, some darling, and other panggilan. We have nothing. I call my husband his second name, at first to annoyed him but it kindda stuck, I kindda like it as nobody call him by his second name. He call me....emmmm let me think, oh ya he call me "awak" as in you. How romantic is that?? I did ask him to call me "sayang" and do you know what was his replied "tak nak, nanti orang kata mengada-ngada". How can calling your wife sayang be a mengada-ngada?? I really don't get it, but on the other hand, I refused to call him 'abang'-to me why should I call him 'abang'-he is not my brother. Come to think about this I don't even call my own brother Abang. So, I guess we are even in this department.

Anyway, it's too late to start calling each other differently now. We've known each other for 10 years, been married for 7 years. I guess at the end of the day it does not really matter what you call each other as long as you love each other right?? Agree with me people- I need the assurance!!!!

I'm in love....again

2006-08-10T04:04:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I'm falling in love with a character from a book, again.

The first time I fell in love with a fiction hero was after SPM when I was about 18 years old. It was Matthew Allen Farrell, from 'Paradise'-Judith Mcnaught. I was so smitten by him that I told everybody that he is my dream guy. I even told my then boyfriend that I wanted to marry someone like Matt Farrell who then was so stupid to wrote on my birthday card "Mrs. Matthew Farrell', which then freaked out my parents really good. They really thought that I will end up marrying a mat salleh, they lectured me about the cons of marrying mat saleh my whole journey from home to airport which was about an hour!!! Then I realized that I cannot end up with such a stupid man..helloo...the reason I told you that so that you can be like Matt lah bodoh, bukan suruh you freaked out my parents!!!

After that, no one can take his place, I read lots of romance book-believe me i did but none can take his place until Jack Harper, I'm in love with him....he is the character from Sophie Kensall-'Can you keep a secret'. After more than 1 decade, I finally found a new man that can make my heart stops and wish I were single again. I could not put down the book and I keep reading it over and over again-mind you the book I borrowed was from the library and I only have one week, so better make full use of it. Really seriously thinking about buying the book but then have to think of waht reason to tell Amli..ehhh..may be to spice up our love life. Do you think he believes men if I tell him that?

Now, cannot stop from thinking about Jack...ahhhhhhhhh Jack Harper, I love you. So, ladies and gentlemen meet my new guy Jack Harper.

As Good As It Gets

2006-08-10T03:58:00.000-07:00

I’ve been having this feeling for quite some times, actually it’s been bugging me since things are not going my way. And recently I had this conversation with my colleague about this thing. What if my life is as good as it gets?? No matter what I did or pray for a change in my life but if this is it, things will not change right? I know God is fair but sometimes I wish He would tell me,” Noriza Stop, this is it. Stop looking for a new job, stop trying to improve your life, you will never be rich or famous. This is YOU. This is what I want you to be.”

On the other hand, you will never know right? What if you can be better, if you just changed. That is why I wish God will tell me, when to stop and when to change. This guessing game is driving me mad. Things have been stagnant for me, no changes, none what so ever. Hai ya very frustrating, job is like crap, personal life non existed, love life so-so. My life is nothing to shout about. And I don’t like this. I used to berangan that I will be someone special, I will have a very satisfying career, high flyer. I will be the decision maker, I have my own room with drop dead gorgeous secretary( preferable some one who looks like Orlando Bloom or Colin Firth in a tight jeans and t-shirt), instead I’m end up as a receptionists. Ciss, wasted those 5 years in UK.

Please lah, tell me is this it or I can look for a better future somewhere else. God, please tell me and if you do I promise I will be a good girl.